Sunday, November 11, 2018

Sit Next To Kim Davis

Kim Davis and Dick Cheney. When you're so anti-gay, no hairdresser, stylist, or cosmetologist will help you
If you haven't been interested in Kentucky's Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis, I appreciate your ability to rise above the ridiculous. 
Kim Davis refusing same-sex marriage licenses in Kentucky. I pay you to discriminate against me right now

In a nutshell, Ms. Davis has refused to issue same-sex marriages licenses, sighting authority from God's Law.  
The irony being:  
A) We theoretically have a church/state separation kind of a deal for JUST THIS REASON. 
B) If I remember correctly, God's Law also had things to say about women, employment, property, fabric, husbands, and Caesar.
C) Kim's history in matrimony is not exactly biblical.
Ted Cruz (political prostitute and possible Zodiac killer) Kim Davis (Rowan County Clerk and fashionista) Joe Davis (was husband no. 2 and now husband no. 4)
Ted Cruz (political prostitute and possible Zodiac killer) 
Kim Davis (Rowan County Clerk and fashionista) 
Joe Davis (was husband #2 and now husband #4)

1984 - Marries Dwain Allen Wallace (husband #1)  
1993 - Has twins out of wedlock with Thomas Dale McIntyre (husband to be #3) 
1994 - Divorces Dwain Allen Wallace (husband #1) 
1996 - Marries Joe Davis (husband #2) who adopts kids from Thomas Dale McIntyre (husband to be #3)  
2004 -Divorces Joe Davis (husband #2)  
2007 - Marries Thomas Dale McIntyre (husband #3)  
2008 - Divorces Thomas Dale McIntyre (husband #3) 
2009 - Remarries Joe Davis (was husband #2 and now husband #4) 
Anti Kim Davis and biblical marriage billboard by
Don't take my word for it. 
The self-proclaimed biblical authority (Westboro Baptist Church) was happy to provide an instructional tweet: 
"Get this straight: you can NOT repent of a sin you actively live. Kim must leave that man who's not her husband." 
"God hates oath breakers." 
Kim Davis, Kentucky County Clerk who hates the gays and a hapless coworker 2015
The best part of the American Taliban circus was an energetic humorist in Twitterland who started a satire account Next to Kim Davis as Kim's hapless coworker. 
(* Some Next To Kim Davis Tweets have been made more family friendly.)
Next to Kim Davis Creepiest van parked outside of work
Oh, hey. Westboro Baptist Church is here, because WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ASSHOLES HERE YET  

Satire was a difficult concept for some. 
Kim Davis for President. Protest in Kentucky for jailed county clerk

‏- @NextToKimDavis 

@nexttokimdavis‪ Your a lazy woman who don't give a crap about society. Just want a chill job?? 
- Patricia Sullivan @Texas2Love 

‏- @NextToKimDavis 

You do realize this is a satire account, not the actual account of the woman in that photo, yes? 
Kim Davis for President. Protest in Kentucky for jailed county clerk
While Kim sat her butt in jail for contempt of court, her attorney, Mat Staver . . .  
former Seventh-Day Adventist pastor, 
founder of the legal group Liberty Counsel, 
author of Same-Sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk,
happily discussed the vast and unequaled miscarriage of justice.
@RepJackKimble Kim Davis vs Rosa Parks Sept 2015
She’s just got this humble, gentle spirit. It is so evident from just spending a few minutes with her.  
With every day that passes irreconcilable and irreparable harm is being done.
@rachelheldevans tweet kim davis jail government and religion Sept 3, 2015 
@nexttokimdavis‪ how do you even get any work done there? Just about as much work as your boss? 

Tough to work when ‪#KimDavis ‪@libertycounsel lawyers are stealing ALL THE STAPLES 
‏- @NextToKimDavis  
#kimdavis‪' @libertycounsel lawyers just piled ALL THE PRINTER PAPER INTO THEIR TRUNK. WTF? 
‏- @NextToKimDavis 

Jailed County clerk Kim Davis and Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black
We all agreed that if #KimDavis falls in love and wants to marry her cell mate, we'll let her, but we're going to be dicks about it. 
‏- @NextToKimDavis 
I'm willing to marry an ‪@OtterPops to a Twinkie. As long as ‪#KimDavis is gone, there's no rules. 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

Kim, initially a Democrat, decided to find a home with the political party of minimal tolerance.
Fun fact - ‪#KimDavis is a Democrat 
- @AlbertsonB2 

Kim Davis becoming a Republican dealing a huge blow to the intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalists wing of the Democratic Party. 
- @MichaelIanBlack 

Another fun fact - ‪#KimmDavis ATE MY OREOS. 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

Rainbow Oreo to celebrate Gay Pride

Illegals get amnesty. Muslims invaders get asylum. Cross dressers get "courage" awards. Christians get jail time. 
- CDM@RWSurferGirl 
- @NextToKimDavis

So I guess can add ‪#ClerkingWhileChristian to the list of crimes like ‪#DrivingWhileBlack now, huh progressives? Proud? 
- Annie@bloodless_coup

You mean ‪#NOTClerkingWhileChristian. Also ‪#StealingOreos 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

This Tuesday, about 5k people said, "#IStandWithKimDavis." We've got nearly 100K who say, "#GoddamnItKim, those are MY OREOS!" 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

Kim Davis refusing a gay couple a marriage license NextToKimDavis and Diet Mountain Dew
Next to Kim Davis, in addition to noting Oreo theft, also became concerned when the overwhelming crush of media, protests, counter-protests, politicians, and lookie-loos consumed all Diet Mt Dew in the area.
Things we learned in the office this week #1 STAY OUT OF THE BACKGROUND SO NO ONE MAKES TWITTERS ABOUT YOU 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

@nexttokimdavis Mt Dew and Kim's Lawyers

Formerly next to Kim Davis Retweeted Ron Sarver 
They had access to their own?! GODDAMN IT @libertycounsel JUST GET SOME QUARTERS 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

@nexttokimdavis pizza party and donation to Fairness Campaign Sept 18 2015
A pizza party and Diet Mt Dew fund was set up (seriously) and when donations started rolling in, Next to Kim Davis sent additional funds to @FairnessComp (a Kentucky LGBT rights organization).
@RichardFausset Kim Davis Hat the Gay Rally with Jesus Freak and The Weather Channel
‏- @NextToKimDavis 

Be back in a bit. Todd made license plates that say "DADDYBEAR" AND We're putting them on the ‪@FoxNews van LOLOLOLOL 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

Tweet re praising county clerk Kim Davis for breaking the law and hating the gays.png
Conservative politicians flocked to Kentucky to make some evangelistic hay before the presidential election.  

@BobbyJindal just said that #KimDavis is the most discriminated person in America! 
‏- @NextToKimDavis 

@BobbyJindal - here is a list of jobs that Christians aren't allowed to have: 1: JOBS THEY WON'T DO #CNNDebate
‏- @NextToKimDavis

Ted Cruz expelled from the Mike Huckabee and Kim Davis Hate the Gays Rally Sept. 2015
Mike Huckabee and ‪Ted Cruz competed to become the head bigot . . . 
Ted Cruz expelled from the Mike Huckabee and Kim Davis Hate the Gays Rally Sept. 2015
resulting in a humiliating expulsion of Cruz from victorious release from jail rally.  
(Spoiler - it works out much better for Cruz than Huckabee.)
Ted Cruz expelled from the Mike Huckabee and Kim Davis Hate the Gays Rally Sept. 2015
(Schools were closed for the Huckabee rally.)
With schools called off, @GovMikeHuckabee, @tedcruz , and #KimDavis are literally making people dumber. 
‏- @NextToKimDavis

Rowan County Dept Clerk will issue the gays marriage licenses while Kim Davis has a meltdown
With the benefit of many legal minds, Kim Davis was released from jail and given permission to not do her job while things were sorted out. She was allocated a "darkened pout cave" to dwell in during work hours.  
‏- @NextToKimDavis
Kim Davis, I need full-time police protection while I don't do my job

Todd says that if #KimDavis comes out and sees her shadow, it's six more weeks of BULLSHIT. 
‏- @NextToKimDavis 

Why is everyone mad at Kim Davis? Nobody in the government does their job. 
- @TheMichaelRock

A few additional bits about the Kim Davis ridiculousness . . .
Six months before the circus, Kim Davis accidentally issued a marriage license to a transgender couple
Martyrdom, accompanied by Eye of the Tiger, at the Huckabee sponsored Hate the Gays rally.
Mike Huckabee, after successfully blocking Cruz from any photo opportunities, triumphantly escorted Kim out of prison to Eye of the Tiger by Survivor.   
Having fun today. Every time someone comes out of the bathroom, Todd plays Eye of the Tiger and we all cheer like crazy.  

Survivor sued Mike Huckabee for copyright infringement. 
@nexttokimdavis responding to Survivor not wanting Huckabee to use their song for the Hate the Gays rally
Huckabee settled with Survivor for $25,000 and allocated the funds as a campaign expense.  
He was taken to court for campaign finance violations where he attempted to argue that his Eye of the Tiger rally was really a religious assembly and therefore could play Survivor's song under fair use. 
@NextToKimDavis trolls Mike Huckabee's choice to hitch his wagon to Kim Davis.png
The court concluded that Huckabee had to refund his campaign with personal funds.  
 @NexttoKimDavis Congrats to same-sex couple who sued Kim Davis County Clerk
With the help of Liberty Counsel, Kim Davis wrote a book, Under God’s Authority: The Kim Davis Story  
Kim chronicles her dramatic encounters with furious, fist-pounding, homosexual men and the hate mail that flooded her office. 

Proceeds will go to the Liberty Counsel and not to Kentucky taxpayers, who owe $225,000 in legal fees to couples who sued for refusing to issue them marriage licenses.
Morehead, Kentucky first Gay Pride Parade in honor of Kim Davis, county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses
A year after Kim Davis made international headlines for refusing to distribute marriage licenses to same-sex couples on the basis of religion, her hometown of Morehead, Kentucky held its first ever Pride parade

Update 11/12/2018
#Vote #MarriageEquality #Nexttokimdavis #Gay #God #GOP

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