Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Disney Coping

How to cope with problems if you are female.
Aurora crying on her bed
If you dream a thing more than twice, 
it is sure to come true. - Aurora 
One component of Disney's cephalopod-ish, tentacle grab for cultural dominion has been . . .  
(ominous music) 
the Disney Princess Industrial Complex. 
Jasmine running out of the hall
What could possibly go wrong with identifying pre-pubescent, waist-circumference-smaller-than-the-diameter-of-their-heads, incapable, prince-obsessed girls as role models? 
Then, just when I was feeling overly critical of Walt, I came across an article about Disney and relationships
Disney Evil Queen from Snow White Who is the fairest of them all?
Some observations from the Disney Universe:  
Single women who are older than 29, are consumed with evil plans which include destroying the Disney girls. 
Snow white crying on the forest floor.
Someday my prince will come . . . 
away to his castle we'll go, 
to be happy forever I know - Snow White
Disney Princesses are young, very young when they marry. 
Cinderella, at 19, is the oldest to become Mrs. Generic Prince, but Sleeping Beauty, Aurora, Ariel, and Mulan are 16. Jasmine marries at 15 and Snow White, a baby at 14.  
Early matrimony isn't surprising considering the myriad of daddy issues. Dads, if not dead, are generally ineffective, absent, or have abandoned their girls to the care of conniving older women. 
Belle crying on her bed
Not only do they marry young, they also marry quickly.  
Within a few days of being imprisoned by a raging, furniture-smashing beast, Belle is in love. Cinderella and Aurora are hopelessly devoted after a single encounter, and Snow White doesn't meet her betrothed before he saves her from eternal sleep.  
Ariel crying in the cave
I'm sixteen years old! 
I'm not a child anymore!. - Ariel
Even worse, Ariel becomes a stalker, obsessed with a guy she knows nothing about and willing to trade everything for a three day shot at non-verbal seduction.  
In addition, deception, with or without magical assistance, is a big thing in Disney relationships. Aladdin isn't Royalty, Mulan isn't male, and Ariel isn't human . . .  
factors which may impact a relationship extending beyond 14 days.  
Cinderella running into the garden to cry
They can't order me to stop dreaming. - Cinderella 
Finally, life for Disney Girls after saying "I do", appears to be nonexistent.  
They vanish from Storyland, never having to work at Walmart when Mr. Charming runs off with the nanny . . .  
or explore young adult life as a college freshman . . . 
or learn how to change a tire . . .  
or master any other skills of independence . . . 
Disney Hades to Meg I can't believe you are getting so worked up over some guy.
unless, for whatever reason, they become single after 29 . . .  
then they're going to read up on magic, do what they have to do to pay the bills, and become much more interesting people . . . 
Maleficent from the Original Disney movie Sleeping Beauty.
which is why Ursula and Maleficent have staying power beyond their teen years. 
Ursula the Sea Witch laughing at Areal
Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? - Ursula
For more details and compelling comparisons, check out the Disney and relationships article.

#DealWithIt #Disney #Girls #Women #GrowUp