March Matron

I have no knowledge of sports . . .

Jordin Tootoo from the Grand Rapids Griffins, making a young fan very happy.

or more accurately, I have a very limited knowledge, 

like a knowledge that people exchange currency to observe athletic interchanges . . .

Sign at a Green Bay Packers game

and clearly,  

England's World Cup qualifying game against Poland  which was rained out  when officials refuse to close the stadium's retractable roof.

there is a portion of the global population who is happy with this arrangement.

Years ago I worked with a gentleman in his 50s who was a quadriplegic, 

the result of incredibly incompetent cancer treatment.

Jason McElwain, an autistic high school basketball team manager, after playing in the last few minutes of the final home game, making six three-pointers and one two-point shot before the game ended.

He was an exceptionally happy individual, who loved three things . . .

A long-haired Pittsburg Steelers fan.

fruitcake, gospel music, and a national football team (that I in no way can remember the name of.)

I have no idea what sporting event this is from.

For his birthday, he received a fruitcake (with more rum than fruit) and a new sports blanket. 

A fan getting a half-court hook shot and being hug-tackled by LeBron James

Congratulating myself, because I recognized the adornment on the blanket as a football helmet, 

I confessed my ignorance and asked him what team was on his blanket.

The conclusion of some sporting event, probably involving sticks, where a team appears to have lost.

He looked at me, slowly shook his head, and said,  

"You poor baby."

Hunter Pence getting no love.

Pitied for my lack of sports knowledge. 

Jack Hoffman, a 7-year-old brain cancer patient, scores a 69-yard touchdown in the 2013 Nebraska Spring Game!

All things considered, 

Florida State University wide receiver Travis Rudolph eating lunch with a young student who was sitting alone, while the college team visited the Tallahassee middle school.

if that is the extent of my pitiable state,

lack of sporting knowledge, while retaining my ability to use my limbs . . .  

Diamondbacks fan Ian McMillan, gives his ball away to a disappointed boy who missed the catch.

and I occasionally get a rum cake with fruit, 

I'll accept that.