Sunday, August 27, 2017


Court photo circa 1980. Adult entertainer bending over and demonstrating to the judge that she did not indecently flash customers because her underwear provides adequate coverage. The Court reporter and attorney also assess the view. Court Humor 'Judgmental'
Adult entertainer demonstrating to the judge that she did not indecently flash customers because her underwear provides adequate coverage.

Quotes from:
Disorder In The American Courts 

(Things people actually said in court) 

q: : now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
a: : did you actually pass the bar exam?

'The Jury' by John Morgan. Painted in 1861. Twelve men depicted with various attitudes while sitting in jury duty. 'A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.' Herbert Spencer. Court Humor. Judgmental.
The Jury by John Morgan
q: : Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
a: : Yes.
q: : Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
a: : Yes, sir.
q: : What did she say?
a: : What disco am I at?
Photo of a handwritten note. Caption 'I am a lawyer, my son told me he had to tell me something but first he wanted me to sign this.' Note reads 'Contract. Any words or terms you can’t get mad at.' Court Humor. Judgmental.
Any words or terms used you cannot get mad about. 
q: : What device do you have in your laboratory to test alcohol content?
a: : I have a dual column gas chromatograph, Hewlett-Packard 5710A with flame analyzation detectors.
q: : Can you get that with mag wheels?
a: : Only on the floor models.
Singer Amy Winehouse showing judge her shoes. City of London Magistrates Court, where she was acquitted of assault after being accused of hitting a fan when she requested a photograph with her. by Courtroom Artist Priscilla Coleman
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost 

q: : 
Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
a: : Yes, I have been since early childhood.

q: : Have you lived in this town all your life?
a: :  Not yet.
Ginger Rogers in Roxie Heart, 1942. Photo of men on the jury admiring Ginger's legs. 'Look what innocent legs I've got!' Court Humor. Judgment.
The streets of this city are congested with women that Billy has saved from their just desserts. - Jack Callahan, explaining the ability of Attorney Billy Flynn to subvert justice for young, attractive, jazz-crazy flappers. 
q: : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
a: : No.
q: : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
a: : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. 
q: : But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? 
a: : It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
True Marketing Genius. Photo of an entrance wrist band from a night club, advertising a local criminal defense attorney. Court Humor. Judgmental.
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby
q: : Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--
a: : Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment.

Judge Rinder from British TV, 'Let me get into my listening pose.' Sitting at the bench, placing a sassy hand to his cheek. Court Humor. Judgment.
Let me get into my listening pose. - Judge Rinder 
q: : And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

q: : Did he kill you?

q: : Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

#lawyer #court #humor


Other stories of Lawyers and Court:
A Moron in a Hurry

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