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Adult entertainer demonstrating to the judge that she did not indecently flash customers because her underwear provides adequate coverage. |
Quotes from:
Disorder In The American Courts
(Things people actually said in court)
q: : now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
a: : did you actually pass the bar exam?
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|
q: : Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
a: : Yes.
q: : Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
a: : Yes, sir.
q: : What did she say?
a: : What disco am I at?
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| Any words or terms used you cannot get mad about. |
q: : What device do you have in your laboratory to test alcohol content?
a: : I have a dual column gas chromatograph, Hewlett-Packard 5710A with flame analyzation detectors.
q: : Can you get that with mag wheels?
a: : Only on the floor models.
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| A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost |
q: : Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
a: : Yes, I have been since early childhood.
q: : Have you lived in this town all your life?
a: : Not yet.
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The streets of this city are congested with women that Billy has saved from their just desserts. - Jack Callahan, explaining the ability of Attorney Billy Flynn to subvert justice for young, attractive, jazz-crazy flappers. |
q: : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
a: : No.
q: : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
a: : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
q: : But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
a: : It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby |
q: : Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--
a: : Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment.
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| Let me get into my listening pose. - Judge Rinder |
q: : And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
q: : Did he kill you?
q: : Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
#lawyer #court #humor
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Other stories of Lawyers and Court:
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| A Moron in a Hurry |
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