Friday, May 11, 2018

Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele

Now before you get all:
I'm NOT listening to any banjo music . . .  
1 The Banjo is such a happy instrument. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele

OR ukulele music . . . 
1 To this day, if I ever meet grownups who play ukulele, I love 'em. Paul McCartney. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele
AND I'm certainly NOT going to listen to any banjo-ukulele music . . . 
1 It's all good until you hear the Banjos. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
EVEN IF there is such a thing . . . 
1 Rednecks are like America's pit bulls. They should drop 'em off in Afghanistan. Just let 'em run wild. Bill Burr
which I doubt!
1 1920s ocean beauties. If everyone played the Ukulele the world would be a better place. Jake Shimabukuro. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
Listen or not, but tomorrow at work, when everyone else is talking about the banjo-ukulele, you'll be left out. 

1 The banjo surrounds hate and forces it to surrender. Pete Seeger. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.

And, because I'm looking out for your best interests, a clip by Frank Skinner:

"We have not found it difficult to deal with the Bush administration in light of the resemblance that it bears to the regimes in our countries, half of which are ruled by the military and the other half which are ruled by the sons of kings." - Osama bin Laden
1 We do know of certain knowledge that Bin Laden is either in Afghanistan or in some other country or dead. Donald Rumsfeld. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.

"President Obama gave the order for Navy SEALs to kill bin Laden. When President Bush heard about it, he was really upset, saying, 'I could have used seals?'" – Conan O'Brien

1 This Osama Bin Laden Guy. Worth 300 million. Send Anna Nicole Smith over. She'll get his money and he'll be dead in a week. Jay Leno. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
"After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan." – Jimmy Kimmel
1 The most important thing is for us to find Osama Bin Laden 2001 George W Bush. I don't know where he is. I have no idea and I really don't care. 2002 George W Bush. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
"I think the next election just got a lot easier for President Obama 'cause his response to every question during the debates will be: 'Wait, I forget…Did you kill Osama Bin Laden? Or did I kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh no, it was me, wasn't it?'" – Craig Ferguson
1 Horrible Quotes Bin Laden or fundamentalists? Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.

Oh wait! Those quotes above aren't Bin Laden quotes. They are from an American fundamentalist.  

Jerry Falwell's God by Roy Zimmerman

“I had a student ask me, 'Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?' Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed.”- Jerry Falwell 
1 In a very Christian way, as far as I'm concerned, Falwell can go to Hell. Jimmy Carter. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country." -  Jerry Falwell

1 God continues to lift the curtain and allows the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve. - Jerry Falwell
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." - Jerry Falwell
1 If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox. Christopher Hitchens. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
"I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush." - Jerry Falwell 
Question posted online after 9/11 (possibly by a student lacking in textbooks without fundamentalist bias): 
1 Jerry Falwell and his private plane. Stupidest internet question after 911. Should Falwell crash planes into the Taj Mahal. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele

Best Answer:  
You know the Taj Mahal is in India and is a Hindu monument, right?

1 Fundamentalism isn't about religion, it's about power. Salmon Rushdie. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
Evidently, the ukulele, banjo and the like could be a fundamentalism antidote. 
1 I prefer to make common cause with those whose weapons are guitar, banjos, fiddles and words. Theodore Bikel. Best use of the Banjo-Ukulele.
Maybe I should find some people who play and create a fundamentalism-free safe house. Come over anytime.
#Obama #Military #ChurchAndState #Religion 

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