Tuesday, February 9, 2016

The Ever Expanding Codpiece

Because I am concerned that you may have forgotten the upcoming holiday,

the one treasured by hoards of female tweens, 

and having already discussed the evolution of male fashion from the Elizabethan era, 

specifically hose and the ever expanding codpiece. 

If you are unsure of the reference, check out daddy of Elizabeth, Henry VIII's jewel-encrusted and / or metallic crotch.  

I would like to discuss the quintessential story of star-crossed lovers,

the one originally titled The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet.

Having once been a tween of the female gender, I found the story impossibly romantic and clearly the blueprint of all true and functional relationships. 

I am in sympathy with junior high teachers everywhere, and in a similar situation I would pander to half of a co-ed class,  

because love of Shakespeare can be a challenging proposition. 

However, it wasn't until years later that it occurred to me, two teens who elope within 24 hours of meeting may not have had the best start to a relationship.  

A few social media comments about The Most Excellent and Lamentable Couple:

What's the most important lesson learned in Romeo and Juliet?

Check your lover's pulse before committing suicide.

Someone should tell Taylor Swift how Romeo and Juliet really ends.

Dear Juliet,  

And that is why you always leave a note! 


Dear Romeo,  

My death isn't the only thing I'm faking!


Romeo killed himself for love . . . I think you can answer my text message.

I'm not too young to be in love.

Let me remind you when Romeo and Juliet met, Romeo was 17 and Juliet was 14. It lasted three days and six people died.

Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead.

When I was lucky enough to visit Juliet's balcony in Verona, the tradition of leaving a note expressing or requesting love had not yet started. 

Hmmm . . . I'm pretty sure that karmic misstep is the sole cause of my boarding the relationship Titanic. 

Damn you Shakespeare! 


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