Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Some Other Race

While watching various offerings on the web and wondering if I have completely destroyed my ability to pay attention to anything for longer than 3.2 minutes, I found an answer to a question I forgot I had!

The benefit of precocious senility . . . remembering what you forgot you didn't know.

Around the time I was taught the very Americanized history of Columbus, India versus Indians, and manifest destiny, I also learned the racial classification of Caucasian. I assumed the term would be clarified at some point, but I lost interest by the time the racial designation changed to White.

Johann Friedrich Blumenbach 
(11 May 1752 – 22 January 1840)

Blumenbach, a German physician and anthropologist, classified "human races" using comparative anatomy.

In 1779, he identified 5 races: 

Caucasian or white race 

Mongolian or yellow race 

Malayan or brown race 

Ethiopian or black race 

American or red race

Blumenbach also identified a "degenerative hypothesis" of racial origins believing the Caucasian race to be the first and idealized race. Racial variations resulted from detrimental factors in the environment. Further, he hypothesized that all races could return to Caucasian by improving environmental factors. 

Um . . . let's put that aside for a minute . . . 

But why Caucasian? 

Why not Nordic? 

Or Scandinavian? 

Well, evidently it has to do with God . . . 

and by God I mean White God. 

Per the portion of my cognitive ability that still functions (Wikipedia), the Caucasus Mountains are located between the Black Sea and the Caspian Sea and include Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Georgia . . .  

which is still not particularly helpful in clarifying why Caucasian. 

Before Blumenbach, a German philosopher, Christoph Meiners identified the Georgians as the "most beautiful of all men" with the "whitest, most blooming and most delicate skin" . . . 

Because . . . 

wait for it . . . 

Adam and Eve were Caucasian! 

You may ask, how was that scientific conclusion made? 

Well, Noah . . . 

the one with the Ark . . . 

the one who fathered the entire global population after God . . .

and by God, I mean White God . . . 

after God did away with the global population of Caucasians fathered by Adam . . . 

Noah landed the Ark on Mount Ararat . . . 

which, per the portion of my cognitive ability that still functions (Wikipedia), is evidently in or near the Caucasus Mountains . . . 

which in turn is in or near the Garden of Eden.

Therefore, God . . . 

and by God, I still mean White God . . . 

once again populated the world with Caucasians. 

A bit from a 2010, National Geographic article 
(Commentary from the article author and not added by me.) 


Noah's Ark Found in Turkey? 
By Ker Than

The expedition team is "99.9 percent" sure. Others, well, aren't.

Near the top of Mount Ararat in Turkey, explorers claim to have found Noah's ark. 

But some archaeologists and historians are taking the latest claim that Noah's ark has been found about as seriously as they have past ones - which is to say not very. 

(See "Noah's Ark Discovered in Iran?" and "Noah's Ark Quest Dead in Water—Was It a Stunt?")

"I don't know of any expedition that ever went looking for the ark and didn't find it," said Paul Zimansky, an archaeologist specializing in the Middle East at Stony Brook University in New York State. 

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