Sunday, August 2, 2015

Clearly not my fault.

Let's see what some Brooklyn guys would recommend for unruly female management. 

Miguel, obviously a scholar as well as a gentleman, is able to refer to the studies correlating maturity with threats of a backside smack. 

Miguel, counterman; If they don't know how to behave by the time they're adults, they should be treated like children and spanked. That ought to make them grow up in hurry. 

Frank cleverly references his livelihood while using objects at hand.

Frank, barber; In my business, a man sets a lot of store by the results he can get with a hairbrush properly applied.

Teddy, though only a parking lot attendant and retaining the childhood moniker into adulthood, is secure in his masculinity. 

Teddy, parking lot attendant; A lot of women tend to forget this is a man's world and a lot of men who stepped down as boss of a family wish they hadn't. 

William apparently has expanded his peacekeeping mission beyond the domestic, making public interactions between the sexes congenial and pleasant. 

William, toy factory owner; Most of them have it coming to them anyway. If they don't, it will remind them how well off they are. I subscribe to the theory that an once of prevention is worth a pound of cure. 

Everyone knows that the good, old-fashioned kind of chastisement is indicative of a couple very much in love. 

Spanked wife says 'I deserved it'
Daily Express, London
17 August 1950

A young woman who jumped out of a window to avoid being spanked by the man with whom she was living told Stratford, E., magistrates yesterday: "I thoroughly deserved it."

"I would like to plead for my husband. I had been aggravating him a good deal." 
Mrs. Hawken, whose pyjamas had been torn off, crawled naked to a neighbour's house and broke a window to attract attention, said Mr. Lane.

Defending, Mr. Leonard Halpern said it was a case of a couple very much in love. The chastisement administered by the 
husband was the good, old-fashioned kind.

And as women, we have all those chaotic hormones and illogical impulses, fostering a reliance on the uterus-free gender.

Should Wives be SPANKED? 
by Lawrence Gould
Well Known Consulting Psychologist

"There are few women for whom the idea of violence does not have at least a little fascination." 

"As a modern husband, your best plan is probably to make your wife feel that you would not be afraid to spank her if you felt that she deserved it."

Now no one is saying there shouldn't be limits on spousal discipline.

Judge Thumb
Satirical cartoon 

Depiction of Sr Francis Buller for allegedly ruling that a man may legally beat his wife, provided that he used a stick no thicker than his thumb.

And that there are other reasonable issues (like conflicting religions or marrying a much taller woman) that could lead to legitimately breaking the bonds of matrimony.

Daily Mirror, London
22 December 1948

WHEN a 6ft. wife returned home in Nairobi at 8.30 p.m., she found her husband 5ft. 7in. Army major -- waiting with a slipper.

Determined "to teach her a lesson," he locked the bedroom door, shut the windows so that her squeals should not be heard and gave her what he considered a good and well-deserved walloping for getting in late.

This was how Mr. Commissioner Blanco White in the Divorce Court yesterday, described the husband's conduct when he granted a decree nisi to Mrs. Pauline Stevens, 29, mother of three children, on the ground of cruelty.

His wife -- slim, dark-haired -- said: "Thank goodness, it's over. Marry again? Oh, I don't think so."

The couple married in 1939. The husband was a devout Roman Catholic, the wife a Protestant. "But it was not the fault of either," he added. "The husband regarded use of contraceptives as a sin." He was satisfied the cause of the breach was the wife's insistence they should practice birth control because of her ill-health and the husband's refusal on religious grounds.

However, the courts are equipped to manage overzealous husbands.

Judge Spanks Wife Beater
The New York Times, Ohio 
Feb 2, 1927

AKRON, Ohio, Feb. I. - Judge E. E. Zesiger of the Criminal Branch of Municipal Court here decided that John Caves, alleged drunkard and wife beater, deserved a whipping for his misdeed, and he gave it to him this afternoon.

"I guess I hit him twenty times across the seat of his pants with the flexible hose. He yelled like a schoolboy, wept, and promised to turn over a new leaf. After that I ordered him released and told him I never wanted to see him in my court again."

And allowing a hysterical female to be single in polite society is a slippery slope. 

High Court Rules Spanking Wife Legal
Lodi News-Sentinel, California
12 February 1959

DES MOINES, Iowa, Feb. 11 -- (UPI) -- A husband has the right to give his wife a spanking if she's got it coming, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled yesterday.

The tribunal overturned a lower court decision which granted Mrs. Mildred Moffett, 22, of Des Moines, a divorce simply because her husband, Jerry, had spanked her several times.

Should that happen, eventually there will be pockets across Western Civilization where the right for domestic leadership will be dissolved. 
Where can you spank your wife? 
The answer is Geographical. 

It can't be done in Pittsburg, but such husbandly punishment has been authorized in Canada and Chicago. 

"The occasional use of a hairbrush on her anatomy would do little harm and yet serve to curb an obstreperous disposition," was the Hackensack Judge's opinion. 

Before you know it, two hormonally hysterical females will be allowed too marry and just who would do the spanking them? 

Back to Miguel, Frank, Teddy and William. Four men who may not have been photogenic or wealthy or charming or hygienic (I'm guessing on hygienic) but who knew their civic duty.  

If only I would have been born 40 years ago and been courted and then wed to Miguel, Frank, Teddy or William. My failings and inadequacies would have been corrected, leading me to one inevitable conclusion. 

My shortcomings are clearly not my fault but the fault of a society that allowed a single female to get an education, drive a car, have a job, vote, buy a home and make all kinds of decision without supervision. 

Don't believe me? Just ask Miguel, Frank, Teddy or William. 

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