Thursday, July 16, 2015

Thinking BEFORE Tweeting

Having three daughter who are exponentially more tech savvy than I am, I have come to understand that electronic communication, like late night caloric intake or a virulent strain of STD, lurks in the background long after the initial event.

With that in mind, here are some commercial Twitter activities that went wrong . . . 

really, really wrong.

You know how the NYPD suffered a bit of a lull in their popularity? Some genius came up with this campaign: 


Fox and Friends asked people to share what they were sick of this year using the hashtag #OverIt2014.

@foxandfriends I'm over "Survivor" contestants disguised as "journalists" ‪#OverIt2014 @TUSK81

I'm over ending sentences in prepositions. #OverIt2014 ‪#grammar @elizamccall

No longer see the comedy in watching Fox News. North Korean news agency more trustworthy and credible than Faux news. ‪#OverIt2014@ten24get

‪#OverIt2014 illiteracy of RW T-baggers who can't spell "Patriotism" or...words with multiple syllables " @AntarianRani

Dr. Oz tried to minimize the damage after his embarrassing congressional appearance. He asked, 
"What is your biggest question for me?" 

Dear ‪@DrOz: is quackery a miracle weight loss cure? Something tells me your walls are going to be a lot lighter w/o your license ‪#OzsInbox @FluffieDucky

‪@DrOz‪ What has been your most profitable lie for money so far? #OzsInbox Robbie G 

‪ #WhoKnew changing the font size frm DR to dr means the show isn't really meant as medical advice. #OzsInBox @LeahMcGrathRD

Robin Thicke also tried to change his reputation as a slime ball. 

On a scale of R. Kelly to Phil Spector, how do you intend to "Get Her Back?" #AskThicke Rachel McKibbens

#AskThicke Do you need some lessons in using social media? If you say "No", we both know that actually means "Yes". Jamie Keen

#askThicke If one of your songs played in a forest and no one was around to hear it would it still be sexist and gross? Harsh Lauren

#AskThicke Will your answer to this question sound suspiciously like a Marvin Gaye song? @spenface 

McDonald's kicked things off with the hashtag #MeetTheFarmers, in a campaign meant to draw attention to the brand's guarantee of fresh produce. The provided an example of an appropriate Tweet:

"When u make something w/ pride, people can taste it," McD potato supplier

McDonalds QP combo before a 10k run is always a poor meal decision. ‪#mcdstories ‪#sickasadog ‪#lessonlearned @FuriousDShow 

#McDStories‪, or: How Not Run a Twitter Campaign @LiamDowd10 

“@Shedletsky: Fashion statement I saw in a store in Venice. ‪#mcdstories But is only available in Extra Small. @EvanNeilsen

Rupert Murdoch verified that he is a prejudicial egomaniac. 

Seems impossible to have civilized debate on twitter.
Ignorant,vicious abuse lowers whole society, maybe shows real social decay. @rupertmurdoch

Oh good, Rupert Murdoch has waded into the Charlie Hebdo debate. I was wondering what an outdated, bigoted, sociopath might make of it all. Adam Hills 

The Spanish Inquisition was my fault, as is all Christian fundamentalist violence. Oh, and Jim Bakker. J.K. Rowling

I was born Christian. If that makes Rupert Murdoch my responsibility, I'll auto-excommunicate. J.K. Rowling 

Anytime a Christian person rear ended your car. ‪#RupertsFault Aziz Ansari 

Hamas, yeah that Hamas, also tried to give their image a boost. 

If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one to hear it fall, is it still Israel's fault? #AskHamas

 #AskHamas When is the Gaza City gay pride parade this year?

#AskHamas‪ This hashtag campaign seems like a very bad idea. Are you sure the guy who suggested it isn't actually a Mossad spy? Just saying.

Nancy Grace, of the Dancing With The Stars and Subsequent Apparel Malfunction, Tweets the headlines of her episodes including #TooFatTo Die and #TooFatToKill.

This girl was electrocuted—that’s probably more painful than a lot of other things ‪#MiniGolfDeath @NancyGraceHLN

@NancyGraceHLN‪ Not as painful as watching your show. @GovernorGhoul 

I wish I loved anything as much as Nancy Grace loves the word ‘tot.’ @ReelQuinn

Sea World created a website to answer the public's questions.

Vice President of Communications, Fred Jacobs explained, "The campaign emphasizes SeaWorld’s 50-year commitment to continuous evolution while setting the record straight on false accusations by activists who oppose whales and other animals in zoological settings."

Does your company have this "get away with murder" club? Is OJ there too? Do you guys talk over a seafood platter? @PeacePunklgt

@SeaWorld Are your tanks filled with Orca tear? #EmptyThe Tanks @Flavia_goivanna 

@SeaWorld #AskSeaWorld Why are your parking lots bigger than your 'natural environment' habitats? @MeaganLis 

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and nearly all of his Democratic colleagues criticized the Redskins for keeping their team name. In response, the Redskin PR department came up with:

“Please show Senator Reid your #RedskinsPride and tell him what the team means to you,” the team wrote in an e-mail to fans. Social ¡Jeb! Worship @McLeemz

And the "fans" were happy to oblige: 

.@Redskins boy, good thing the systematic slaughter of indigenous people was managed better than this twitter account! #redskinspride @jfkeeler 

@redskins #NotYourMascot Wow! And I thought the Cleveland Indians fans looked like idiots!@jfkeeler 

Possibly unrelated: the team’s job board has a current posting for a social media intern.

And my very, very, very favorite, J.P. Morgan set up a Twitter Q&A with one of their high-level executives.

The bank called it off within six hours. However, that was time enough to get a record number of "screw you" Tweets per second. 

Has the raw cunning of the electricity bid-rigging scheme been unfairly overshadowed by the scale of the mortgage settlement? ‪#AskJPM @mattyglesias

Can I have my house back? ‪#AskJPM @AdamColeman4

What's it like working with Mexican drug cartels? Do they tip? ‪#AskJPM @ddayen

Did you have a specific number of people's lives you needed to ruin before you considered your business model a success? ‪#AskJPM @amy10506


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