Sunday, April 19, 2015

Body Donation

This post requires a brief explanation. (I KNOW! You are thinking there better be an amazing payout. Ha! You should know better than that.) 

In my family, there are a few universalities. Most of us work in health care and are in agreement that everyone, eventually, will die. (Yes, it is sad but true.) 

We also agree that people should be able to make personal health care decisions based on factors other than the provider's desire to finance a vehicular upgrade.

My mom is a very determined proponent of clean environmental practices and corporate liability. She particularly hates Stericycle, a waste management company that disposes of hazardous and medical materials. 

And by "disposes of" I don't mean eliminate, I mean dilute and redistribute. 

Not surprising, she also thinks the right to not be shot by a bozo owning a firearm supersedes the bozo's right to own a firearm. (See how that works? One person would be dead and one person would remain alive, stupid and armed.) 

Finally, my mom's mom loved theater and was a fantastic costume maker. She created oversized paper-mache heads and wrote a road show Christmas musical called The Christmas Elf. 

Caught up?

My mom's prior living will assigning her child she dreamed most ruthless to be in charge of pulling the plug. The rest of us were in charge of being nice to the one compassionate child she has, while preventing her from putting mom on life-support. 

Last week she sent a out an email with an update. She wants to donate her body to a program that cremates everything that can't be used.
The response:

Julie - Just to clarify- are you waiting until you die to donate or you're donating next week to get things going?

Wendy - Did you want your ashes scattered over the NRA or the Republican National Committee headquarters?

Jamie - Wendy that would be environmentally unsound.

Wendy - Oh no, they would have already vented everything bad into the air in Woods Cross. The ashes would be ok.

Dan - Doesn't the U of U contract with Stericycle to burn the bodies?

Me - I've heard Disneyland is a popular ash depositing place but you have to be tricky. That might be the only time I would agree to a trip to the magic kingdom.

Jamie - Lets do it! All the sisters can dress up as princesses (since we already have dresses and crowns) and Dan can dress up as a prince.

Me - Oh it has to be Christmas Elf costumes. 

Jamie - Only if we can pay Dan $5 to be the Bride Doll.

So it looks like we have a funeral plan!

Good to decide these things ahead of time.

A bit more?

A bit more about my Grandma's theater and my brothers participation.

A bit more about my mom and proper use of resources during political protest.

A bit more about my love all things Disney.

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