Friday, March 13, 2015

Gladiator Rules

football soccer women kiss
A Kiss Before the Women’s Football Game, 1920

Despite a myriad of scandals and piss poor media responses, the NFL may actually have a larger issue. 


Let me start with the value of watching large men run into each other. The 32 teams of the NFL are worth $45 billion. The most valuable team is . . . the Dallas Cowboys, worth $3.2 billion. 

So just one of the Koch brothers could, in theory, buy the entire league and implement Gladiator rules for his private viewing pleasure.

The NFL denied for years that head bashing could possibly cause injury and attempted to ruin several physicians’ careers. (Remind you of any other industry or a dozen other industries?)

4,500 former players sued the League for a settlement meant to cover 25,000 retired players and 9,000 families of players who have died over for the next 65 years.

Chronic traumatic encephalopathy causes depression, rage, neurological disorders, dementia and can only be diagnosed with an autopsy. Perfect.

The proposal is $1 billion with 200 players who already have severe symptoms opting out to pursue individual claims.   

A bit of math, if I may, 25,000 players + 9,000 family members = 34,000 individuals.

$1,000,000,000 / 34,000 = $29,411. Considering that custodial care in a nursing home can be $5,000 per month, there shouldn’t be any issue.

And I care because why?

Because this is one more event where money trumps any type of destruction and it makes me very, very crabby.

Granted, my consumer participation has not contributed to this particular industry but, If you figure out how to opt out while not making my current frustrated, depressed, sleep deprived, hostile life more difficult, please let me know. 

As long as the answer does not involve watching televised sports. I have my morals.

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