Thursday, January 1, 2015

The Law

Did you ever take an intro to physics class? If you are on my intellectual playing field, it is the class you vaguely remember involving people infinitely smarter, who made math into a predictive rationality that pissed of the Vatican.

There were also laws, lots of laws.  I don’t recall the actual first law of thermodynamics, something about work and conservation of energy. Evidently a perpetual motion machine isn’t possible, even in the Vatican. However, it was rephrased as, “There is no such thing as a free lunch”, a fairly apt and useful interpretation.

It makes me happy to find a few laws of internet use. See how apt you believe these to be.

Godwin’s Law “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.”

Lewis’ Law "Comments on any article about feminism justify feminism." 

Danth’s Law “If you have to insist that you’ve won an Internet argument, you’ve probably lost and lost badly.”

Pommer’s Law “If person's mind can be changed by reading information on the internet, the nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.”

Poe’s Law “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that won't be mistaken for the real thing.”

The Law of Exclamation “A statement’s validity is called into question by the amount of exclamation points used or by the excessive use of capital letters.”

Skitt’s Law “Any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself.”

DeMyer's  Second Law “Anyone who posts an argument on the internet which is largely quotations can be very safely ignored, and is deemed to have lost the argument before it has begun.”

Shaker's Law “Those who egregiously announce their imminent departure from an Internet discussion forum almost never actually leave.”

A final law, which is pre-internet but oh so applicable, is one of my favorites.

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