March Matron

Necessity is which parent of invention? 

Dad Hack: Power tools and bouncy chair.

Dad Hack: Let your kid help paint the fence with water.

James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 

My 3-year-old hugged me out of the blue and said, "I love you, Dad." 

If you need me, I'll be searching the house for whatever she broke. 

Dad Hack: The vacuum cleaner ponytail.

Dad Hack: zip-tie ponytail.

James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 

5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars 

Me: That’d wreck the economy 

5: I just - 

Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation 

Dad Hack: Cardboard seat dividers for the car.

Dad Hack: Anchor mobile kids to the door.

James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 

5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur.  

Me: That could mean anything.  

5: The dinosaur had a hat.  

Oh shit.

Dad Hack: Leaf blower and swing.

Dad Hack: Color inside the box.

James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 

4-year-old: Why do you go to work? 

Me: They pay me a salary. 

4-year-old: 

Me: 

4-year-old: I don’t even like celery. 

Dad Hack: Unhooked game controllers.

Dad Hack: Baseball practice and fishing.

James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 

4-year-old daughter: *points to a dead squirrel on the road* He was a boy. 

Me: How can you tell? 

4-year-old: He was stupid.

#Hack #Dad #Kids #Funny