Thursday, July 31, 2014

Cowboy, Curmudgeon, Biker or a Normal Guy

A few words about politics, brought to you by . . .

Can you guess the state?

. . . the state with the most miles of river, the deepest river gorge and 63% public land . . .

. . . the state where Walt Disney was married . . .

. . . Vote for Pedro? 

You know it! Idaho, where a vote from Pedro may be one of the better voting choices.

If you don’t recognize this quote, "Folks, you have a choice: A cowboy, a curmudgeon, a biker or a normal guy. Take your pick,” then you, my friend, are in for 13 minutes of absolute kick-ass media coverage of a political debate.   

Party with a fringe on top.

Would you like to know how the Biker and the Curmudgeon did in this elections?

Brown 3.3% of the votes 

Bayes 1.8% of the votes

Even incombent Governor C.L. "Butch" Otter, who won the GOP primary, has an unusual footnote. In the 1990's, he made a brief appearance as a Sheriff in a low budget Western which was later cut into a soft-core porn film.  

One more example of Idaho and politics. 

Slickpoo is an unincorporated community in Lewis County, Idaho.

Recall Senator Larry Craig of the “Wide Stance” Craigs?  

You know the story. Typically starts with an old white dude of some financial means who is a conservative politician or a televangelist. 

Gay bad. Straight good. God told me. Righteous indignation. Warning of Armageddon. 

And then, late at night, in an out of the way hotel, a public career becomes a spectacular fireball.

The Singing Senators 

Trent Lott - Bass
Resigned after making racist comments in support of Strom Thurmond

Larry Craig - Lead 

John Ashcroft - Baratone 
Became U.S. Attorney General. Department of Justice ruled some of the post nine eleven domestic intelligent collection was not legal. Received a presidential demand to resign while in the hospital with appendicitis.

Jim Jeffords - Tenor
Defected from the GOP and became an Independent, changing the balance of power in the Senate

But Senator Craig went out in a big way.  Minnesota airport, bathroom stall, police officer, mistaken identity, bump of a foot under the stall and . . . 

Well evidently Senator Craig requires a wide stance for bathroom activities. Unfortunately for him, the arresting officer, the Minnesota police department, the GOP and most of America were on board with “lewd behavior” and not so much with “wide stance.” 

Republican leadership adopts wide stance on issues.

But wait. It is even more bizarre. 

He called Bill Clinton a nasty, bad, naughty boy. (And no one questions his sexuality? Really?)  

Two months after his arrest, in response to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, “It is unacceptable to risk the lives of American soldiers and sailors merely to accommodate the sexual lifestyles of certain individuals.” 

During an interview to clear his name, "Now I know what it feels like to be profiled."  (Those old white guys from Idaho can't go anywhere without getting hassled.)

After resigning from the Senate, he co-founded a lobbying firm that attempted to have a federal prison built in Idaho and the Gray Wolf de-listed from protection under the Endangered Species Act. (I’m not exactly sure of the primary focus of his lobby group.  Support for pissing off liberals?)

The best part? No-Longer-Senator Craig is being sued by the Federal Election Commission for $360,000 in fines and restitution for diversion of campaign funds to pay for his legal defense.  

But at least he’s not gay. 

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