Thursday, June 26, 2014

I have a theory.

The mandatory participation in a Home Owners Association, (meaning a group of individuals who live in a neighborhood are forced to pay group of other individuals, who do not live in the neighborhood, to act as a governing body to the neighborhood where they do not live) 

for the purpose of monitoring possible infractions (meaning relying on neighborhood volunteers to diligently survey areas for atrocities like the lawn flamingo)

where the number of possible infractions is slightly excessive (meaning the rules, regulations and consequences set forth by the HOA is lengthier than the rules, regulations and consequences of the federal tax code) 

is a concept formulated by opportunists (meaning aspiring politicians, Wall Street executives or Mafioso) 

and implemented by a vocal minority (meaning a portion of neighborhood residents who have been unable to obtain dictatorial satisfaction since after the Jr High, Hall Monitor days). 

While I am appreciative of a ban on automobiles in various stages of decay, raucous farm animals and horrible, tween garage bands (more on that in a minute), I do have a few suggestions. 

If solicitation is not permitted, perhaps monitoring for vans of teens, armed with clipboards and determination, should be a priority. However, per HOA minutes, this has been a suggested item for the board meeting agenda, going back at least six months. 

What monumental issues have taken precedence?

A motion to remove T.S. from the design committee was proposed, discussed and voted on.

Proposal the picnic tables in the neighborhood park should have straps to discourage any would-be theft was addressed. Additional discussion is needed. (I would guess the definition of "strap" should also be addressed.)

The sentence reading: Exterior walls and fences shall be painted Stongington beige, was stricken from the regulations. The acceptable colors were not indicated. (Come on folks.  Don't make me come down there and do your job for you. We need guidelines.)

Finally, after being tabled four months in a row, it was voted that no notices for open garages would be issued.

So now the entire neighborhood is just asking for a plague of garage bands. Way to go HOA!

#HOA #Yard

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