Friday, May 30, 2014

Its a bird. Its a plane. Nope

A real report* from wgntv: 
(passed on to me by the marvelous Jean) 

A family from the western suburbs (I’m not sure which suburbs) was just two exits away from ending an eight hour road trip, when a deer fell from the sky onto their mini-van.

So let me make sure I’m understanding the gravity of situation. It isn’t enough to worry about the Koch brothers, swine flu, cost of gas, elected officials destroying the country, cancer causing agents, world domination and the upcoming zombie apocalypse, I need to worry about sky diving deer? 

Not exactly.  I need to watch for a variety of falling objects. Apparently, death by coconut has no standard requirement for reporting.  The stats range from 150 per year to 5 every 3 years. Since I live in a state with similar trees, this would be helpful information. 

Within a ten year period, 30 people in LA died from bullets fired into the sky.  On the other hand, firing a shotgun in the air (which I do not recommend) will lead to incarceration but not accidental death from gravity obeying buckshot. 

A quick side story, because that is what I do.  In my high school, asking someone to go to a school dance was a fairly elaborate affair. My sister had a boyfriend who was into deer hunting. Coming from the anti-gun family that we did, understanding the difference between shotgun and rifle was fairly nonexistent. She found someone who made shotgun shells and decided to put a note in a case before it was crimped. 

She asked if you could kill a deer with a shotgun. Response? Only if you tie it to a tree first.

The odds of being killed by space junk are 1 in 5 billion.  However, in 1997 a woman in Turkey and a woman in Oklahoma were both hit by small pieces of stuff America had launched into space.  

Later that night, in Oklahoma, a 580 pound fuel tank landed in a nearby field. At one time, launching trash into space was seriously discussed.  Great idea and if nothing else it would be a cost effective proposition.  

In the 1980’s a New York pedestrian was killed when a window air conditioner fell from a building.  However, getting hit by a penny that is dropped from the Empire State building will not kill anyone, only because the flat shape makes it flip while falling and air resistance slows it down.  If a falling 50 gram bolt hits someone in the head then they are toast. 

Since 1850, there have been 4 recorded deaths in America by falling piano or safe.  Prior to that stat, I was going to say, staying inside probably decreases the likelihood of a gravitational assault from above but there has to be more than 4 fatalities as a result of large items falling from the ceiling. 

There is that whole Phantom of the Opera and revenge based chandelier falling which is a cautionary tale to be alert when in the proximity of phantoms, particularly when they are in reach of heavy objects. 

My annual insurance deductible runs July to July.  I met the family deductible in the first three weeks of July last year. So ER for all maladies, hangnail to falling objects, until the new deductible period. Then it is helmet or hard hats for everyone. 

* this is a fact checking blog on par with the current fact checking media which is to say, if I can pull it up on Google, it is going in the post.  

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