March Matron

In the age of electronics, exorcisms are done over Skype . . .  

Benny Hinn and the spiritual power of his evangelical jacket.

 at least in Scottsdale Arizona by The Reverend Bob Larson. 

"It's real," Reverend Bob Larson says. 

Oral Roberts, evangelical tent revival, million soul crusade.

"There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason. Why would anybody do that? I have no idea.” 

Well, let's take a peek at a possible motive for high-tech exorcism.  

From one of The Reverend’s websites: 

Daemon Proofing Prayers and Daemon Possession Test $9.95

And even if test results are inconclusive (what are the chances), it is better to be safe than sorry: 

Cross of deliverance $100 

Benny Hinn and the spiritual power of his evangelical pointing finger.

If that doesn’t keep you daemon free, this will work . . . eventually. 

Coaching $99 a week for a 25-minute phone call.

Did you know there is an International School of Exorcism? 

And, oh my, look at that. The founder for this institution of higher learning is none other than Reverend Bob.

 The Reverend has a particularly despicable marketing plan.  

"Rape victims are highly prone to catching sexually transmitted daemons. Not metaphorical daemons but genuine soul-dwelling daemons." 

As luck would have it, the Reverend’s daughter and her two friends are also skilled in exorcism. A remarkable coincidence.

Brynne Larson claims she performed her first exorcism on a family trip to Africa when she was 13.

If you are in need of having daemons removed but you believe in the old-fashioned up close and personal approach, fear not because the Reverend is going on tour and will probably be coming to a city near you. 

Benny Hinn and the spiritual power of his evangelical backhand.

From browsing through the FAQ posted on The Reverend’s various websites, my favorite is an inquiry about where the daemons are placed post vacating a host.

 "Any place a daemon doesn’t want to go is where I send them."

And let that be a lesson to all daemons on the brink of person-dwelling. 

It makes good toast