Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Final-ish Outcome

When last we met, I had an iPad in my hands.  Granted, it’s a work iPad and templates, charts and programs were all loaded from the super secret, firewall surrounded, under the mountain, tech nirvana of my company. 

Urban Dictionary: iPad
A piece of technology from Apple Inc. that's less functional than a laptop and less portable than an iPhone.

Do you know how awesome it is to say, “I don’t know if there is a foundation for narcoleptic octogenarians of Asian decent but how ‘bout we take a little look.”  

"And this is where you would see something if your computer was on."

Or, “Did you get any new medication?” “I think so.” “Did you pick it up yet?” “Well no. Mabel had to get a permanent wave and then I lost all the pencils.” “Do you know what it is called?” “Something with a Z?” “Do you know what they do?” “Something good?” “Well lets take a little look in your chart.” 

Urban Dictionary: Blogberry 
Writing entries to a blog on a blackberry or some other similar device during a work meeting because you have run out of fake important messages to respond to.

For the lover of portability, oh my! It doesn’t get more portable than an iPad. But instead of my typical, “Mine. Now.” I actually sat down, did some research and was assured that, for my needs, an iPad was an acceptable computer alternative.  Then I went, “Mine. Now.”  

Urband Dictionary: Blog
Search results consisting mostly of blog links that have nothing to do with the topic you're interested in. 

Amazon, who has politely provided me with my prior electronics (and who has also politely accepted all my electronic returns) found me one, on sale, with a two day shipping option. 

Urban Dictionary: Blogoslipping
Neglecting ones blog.

Evidently I am desperately clinging to the delusion that I am computer competent.   I just want to type and then point and then click and spelling, synonyms, formatting . . . done!

Urban Dictionary: Blogger 
Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives.

Then I want to point and click and magically the humorous, illustrative photo that I scavenged is located and placed in the correct location. 

Urband Dictionary: Blogger's Tan 
The pasty vampire-like color of ones skin who never comes into contact with direct sunlight. 

Is that too much to ask? IS IT? 

Urban Dictionary: Blogging A Dead Horse 
When a troll continues arguing in a flame war thread that is long dead as both sides have made all of their points and have stopped caring.

So acknowledging my cognitive limitations, poor knowledge retention and my inability to stay awake to 3 am while desperately combing google searches for “I just want to blog!” I bought a Macbook.

Urban Dictionary: Blog Slogging
Laboriously searching through reams of blogs searching for that one special gem that will make it all worthwhile.

Now point and click meets some of my expectations and the probability of actually posting something has exponentially increased.  

I know this has relieved the blogosphere. 

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