Saturday, August 10, 2013

Well just how golden are your rules?


Yesterday I posted about the Mormon Missionaries and the Church-wide rules for missionaries.  However, that’s not the end of the story. Each mission has a Mission President who has the discretion to make additional rules for his area.  (The Mission President is another missionary calling where an older couple is chosen to preside over a mission for a specific amount of time.)


It would appear, that some of those called do not hear “Mission President” as much as they hear “Rouge Sherriff needed to clean up the atheist-overrun town.”


Local Rules: Occasionally responding to beavior where logic and reasoning took a hiatus and occasionally attempting to manage those times with a no logic or reasoning framework. 


Do not stand, jump or leap into any fountain in Europe.

Do not run with the bulls.

Sister missionaries will wear makeup and will shave their legs.

The Word “awesome” is an un-Christlike word.

Using abbreviations is lazy and shows contempt.

Do not take a shower longer than 4 minutes because you are on God’s time.

Do not wear green pants.

All “investigators” will be called “celestial candidates.”

Do not eat lollipops as the stick may be mistaken for a cigarette

Do not sing “The Tempest is rising” like a pirate.

Do not get a tattoo, even of the CTR (Choose the Right) Ring the church gives out to 8 year olds.

Missionaries may not cut each other’s hair. 

Do not eat at “Hooters.”


And especially don’t do all of them at once.

So, the most important rule? Do NOT leave the area.



Want know what happens if you break the rules? If the male church oligarchy decides not to send the offender home, the missionary will be grounded to any of a number of tiny towns in Utah or Idaho for the remaining mission time. 

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