Friday, August 2, 2013

A new cup does not a Vanilla make

On one leg of the hospital tour, my diet consisted of (big build up) clear liquids.  Delicious! Protein shakes which are not at all clear and barely liquid, were ordered per meal.
The thing about protein shakes is they always have an underlining taste of ham or fish or soy or some type of proteinish something.  It’s inevitable I guess, but I don’t like regular frozen dairy anyway, much less the ones tainted with mackerel.

Evidently the ordering of Vanilla does not correlate to the actual bringing of Vanilla.

Here is where I am also going to go out on a limb and propose a hypothesis, perhaps even the suggestion of a grad student’s research paper. 
Pouring a Chocolate shake product into a large paper cup, putting a lid on the cup so no shake is actually visible, then letting it sit for several hours somewhere in the germ-ridden hospital while parts of it congeal and other parts separate and then writing “Vanilla” on the cup, does not make it Vanilla. I know ‘cause I checked. (Well at least it isn't Vanilla wen I am actually looking at it.  At other times it may be Chocolate, but only when not observed.)

Just to make my own little experiment, I did order Chocolate once and that time I got . . . Chocolate!

I was talking to another nurse on the next leg of the hospital journey and she said, “Oh, here is what you do.  You tell them you are allergic to Chocolate. Allergies they take very seriously.”  Ingenious!! Also, should there be a next time, I’m going to be allergic to a whole bunch of stuff; 5 am blood draws, dressing changes, hospital gowns, etc. “Sorry, I need special accommodations.  I’m allergic to all of that.” 

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