Monday, July 22, 2013

The Gown

Who knows what a Balenciaga Ball Gown is? Don’t be shy. Raise your haute couture , well-manicured hand. 

How about what a Dignity Gown is? (Those of you in the specialty labor and delivery market will know of what I speak.)


Ok, all the rest of us non-fashion and non-OB folks, I say Hospital Gown and you have an image in your head, right?

As a first-time, pregnant lady, and it seems na├»ve now, I worried about privacy while delivering. Who sees what and how often and how is the room set up and do you share a room at any point and even worse, who gets to touch what . . . I’m seeing lots of head nods.  

Then things start happening in earnest. You go, “Are you kidding!?!” and you will have to be discouraged from dancing naked around the room when you know the anesthesiologist with the epidural is the way.

 Now, after participating in the gowned parade on the med surge floors, I have completely changed my perspective. 

The gowned parade includes the meandering herd of free-range patients, occasionally assisted by staff, gown with one tie at the back of the neck and cape-like, a second gown tossed over the shoulders to compensate for the inefficiencies of the first gown. Entire ensemble then accessorized by the blue sock slash white rubber dots of super grip. 

 Then after so many fold, shift, adjust, lift, lower and remove the gown regiments per shift I think everyone should just be naked in these circumstances.

The staff, alternatively, should be made to wear something ridiculous (and/or nothing) so the free-range patient feels less threatened.
Trust me, free-range gowned parade or restricted gowned herd occasionally encountering scrub-donned staff crates amplified awareness of: Patient, You Are and Staff, You Are Not!

The irony? In everyday life there is always that push to wear a night gown for as long as possible.


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