“If outside is so good, why
has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?” Sheldon Cooper,
The Big Bang Theory
I
have never understood the drive to be outside. Outside is where the stinging,
biting, parasitic body invaders live. Outside is directly correlated to
sunburn, lack of temperature control and the unavailability of electrical outlets. Outside is where peeing does not involve
flushing.
However,
I completely agree with maximizing land protection. I am going to go out on a limb here and
suggest that if the obscenely wealthy, government subsidized, big oil pimps are
allowed to go jaunting about looking for oil, eventually we will have no access
to water and then, my friends, how are they going to make Diet Coke a liquid
instead of a solid?
So,
for all you rugged outdoors, tree hugging types, you are more than welcome to use up my
outside time allotment while I enjoy comfort, predictability and the minimal
chance I will be lost while navigating through the house.
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Actual
comments left on Forest Service comment cards and a few awesome quotes from
presidents past:
“While my interest in natural history has added
very little to my sum of achievement, it has added immeasurably to my sum of
enjoyment in life." "It was here that the romance of my life
began." Teddy Roosevelt
"A
small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can
get reimbursed?”
"Need
more signs to keep area pristine.""Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
“There
is nothing so American as our national parks. The scenery and the wildlife are
native. The fundamental idea behind the parks is native. It is, in brief, that
the country belongs to the people, that it is in process of making for the
enrichment of the lives of all of us. The parks stand as the outward symbol of
the great human principle.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Too
many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness
to rid the area of these pests."
"The
places where trails do not exist are not well marked.""Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.”
"Chairlifts
need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having
to hike to them."
"The
coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate
these annoying animals.""Too many rocks in the mountains."
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