Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Best and Worst Calls

Part one:
So working with a primarily geriatric population, I have had three patients targeted for this phone scam.  

Someone calls and says they are representing the patient’s grandson.  (I don’t know if they actually find a grandson’s name or just pick a popular name.)  The grandson is on vacation out of country and has been arrested.  It is all a big misunderstanding but he doesn’t want to talk to his parents and he has enough money in his account to meet bail or pay a fine or whatever but he can’t get to it. So if the patient would please just wire the money, their grandson will pay them back as soon as he is home.
Fortunately none of the three fell for it and one lady, who has a mouth like a sailor and an attitude to match, hopefully made the caller cry like a little girl.  I think there is a very special place for these bastards.

Part two:
Have you heard the really cute 911 call the little kid makes to get math help?  She’s talking away and the operator is helping and you hear mom in the background.  “Who are you talking to!?!” “The police. You said to call them if I needed help.”  “Not for math!!!”

If you haven’t heard that call, have you ever had a phone conversation with a friend’s kid or a nephew or niece? “And a dog!!”  Heavy breathing, heavy breathing. “The car, orange. No mom! I want to do it.” Heavy breathing, heavy breathing. “The big swirly one!” Screeching, heavy breathing, heavy breathing.

My theory. Every old person should have ready access to a young great grandkid.  Give the kid the phone and if the caller sticks it out, then guaranteed, they are in it for some questionable reason. If they hang up, well then they probably were worth talking to.

Kind of like the witch trials.  If the “witch” survives repeated dunking then for sure she is a witch.  If she dies, well then she’s clearly innocent and can be buried in the church graveyard.

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