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So his doc tells him he needs a strong diuretic. (A medicine or substance that makes you pee.)
As it turns out, per this doc, beer is the number one substance for producing a
whole lot of pee. “Want to know the best
part?” my patient asks. “The insurance
paid for it.” Just think of how many
bars would jump on that insurance-paying-for- beer band wagon. Prove your
patrons are in need of peeing and you would be in business!
Years ago, I worked in a hospital that was in the
middle of a huge Mormon community. And
because I am the way I am, a brief, semi-related story. My office was the
cupboard under the sink in the break room. (Not kidding.) One day the dietitian
had ordered me a professional name plate and had she had taped it to the
cupboard door. Totally hilarious.
So a patient came in who had a hip fracture along
with a drinking problem. (Probably some
correlation there.) The doc decided that requiring him to go through the DT’s
while recovering from the facture would probably not have a good outcome.
He asked the guy how much and what he drank. The
doc wrote an order requiring that the hospital kitchen provide both beer and
scotch.
Remember, this is Mormon territory and none of the
kitchen girls had ever been inside a liquor store much less actually purchased
alcohol. Evidently there was panicking over being seen by a church leader going
in and out of the liquor store. Not sure
how they worked it out (drawing straws maybe) but the requirement was met.
To return the favor of my newly recognizable door,
I bought the dietitian a pair of eyeglasses with fake nose disguises. Freedom
to go out of any unsavory establishment with anonymity.
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