Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Arrested Fashion Development

Have you ever noticed that little old ladies have a thing for floral polyester slacks and matching smocks? It’s like time stopped for them in the 70’s. “All fashion that could ever be has come to pass and I will rest comfortably knowing my wardrobe contains all of the items I will ever need.”

Plus everything was made out of on indestructible,
fire retardant material so they can wear the same items for the next thousand years.

Now that we’re starting to get the next generation of seniors, I have a few aging bikers with white beards, ponytails, doo rags and leather vests. It makes me happy to see some geriatric diversity!

I wonder what will be fashionable when my generation
 or my daughter’s generation hits the Fashion Embargo wall.
I’m guessing skinny jeans with four inches of adult diaper showing in the back.
 “That is some serious swag right there.”

Regardless of what 1980’s throwback I’ll be dressed in,
(I’ll probably regress to the lace gloves and big petticoat slips that Madonna favored)
I’ve given my kids two responsibilities.  

One, do not let anyone put me on a ventilator, tube feeding, dialysis, a drug induced coma, music therapy, pureed and thickened liquid diet or agree to invasive surgery where bit and pieces are hacked off or artificial anything is added. 

Two, get me with a supply of Dt. Coke.
Then they can shove me on to an ice flow.

The three of them actually had this discussion a few years ago.
Montana, “I’ll take care on mom first because I’m going to live in Italy or Russia and she can’t be too old to live there.”
 Savannah, “I call taking care of her last because she will just sleep all the time.”
Sierra, “Alright, I’ll take care of her in the middle part.”
Well I’m glad that’s settled!

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