Friday, December 14, 2012

The Government Workforce Boondoggle in the Cyber Swampland

I’ve spent the past two days navigating the on-line, government workforce boondoggle, while also trying to make sense of the available, adult education programs and simultaneously doing my part to keep Nabisco in business.
So what have I learned?
There is a magical and poorly defined, pool of funds that may or may not exist and which may or may not be available, in part or in total to assist with training displaced workers which I may or may not be considered as.
Government, at both the mirco and macro level, is only content when even the simplest worksheet or the smallest task requires twenty extra steps, and is preferably housed in a labyrinth with a flesh eating Minotaur.
Bureaucracies have no idea how to streamline, be efficient or get along with anybody else. Therefore no agency cooperates, coordinates or communicates with any other. Also, no one cleans up anything, ever, leaving a huge cyber swampland. It appears that spending an inordinate amount of time slogging through the refuse is the only way to tease out valuable bits of information.
Really, I’m looking for the answer to an easy question. Are there specific requirements or certificates for teaching adult education? (I mean in addition to the dexterity required to talk to a class while writing on the chalk board and the discretion to call the students by their given names and not the descriptive titles I’ve given them.)
So by the end of day two, with very little accomplished, I’m ready to pack it up and come to terms with living in my car. Then I get a call from a Humana Insurance recruiter. She’s seen my resume and she would really appreciate it if I considered taking a job doing case management, in the area right by where I live, and the expectations are split time in the field and working from home and the benefits are great and they start on day one of hire and what do I think?
Let me see. One resume floated out into cyber space brings a job that is relatively easy to do, away from potential micro-managers, flexible schedule and pants are optional fifty percent of the time. Plus, I can go back into the health-insured main stream. I’m thinking karma is making up for the crap she threw at me over the past two years. Well it’s about time!

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