March Matron

Christmas is really bumming me out. I’m not putting up a tree or buying gifts this year. Christmas day, I fully intend on spending in bed in a sugar and diet coke coma. Therefore, I’m taking bits of Christmas spirit where I can find it. [Buddy sees the mail room for the first time] Buddy: This place reminds me of Santa's Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me. Emily: You like sugar, huh? Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup? Emily: Yes. Buddy: Then YES! Buddy: Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop! [Referring to crossing the intersection and cab drivers.] Buddy: SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA'S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM! Buddy: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa. [After meeting a Gimbel employee dressed as an elf] Buddy: It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture. Buddy: [reading the note he left on the etch-a-sketch] "I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR.