Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The “Cool Skills” Comparison

Another entry in the Trekkie versus Twihard ultimate fandom showdown. For those of you who are done geeking out feel free to move on but my OCD just won’t allow me to let go . . . yet.
For the Trekkies: Kirk, Spock and Scotty; just two guys and one Vulcan overcoming disaster with sheer determination and really cool accessories. (And an unlimited supply of expendable red shirted crew.)
Captain Kirk’s skills include: Brawling and crazy rule breaking and the knowledge that he looks damn good doing it
Too much sexual prowess for only one man
Spock’s skills include: Ubiquitous logic accompanied by a crafty eyebrow lift and ability to counter the emotional Captain’s crazy schemes
A really cool Vulcan Neck Pinch AND Vulcan Mind Meld
(“The Vulcan Neck Pinch is not half as powerful as the Vulcan Groin Kick, but it's more politically correct”- Gene Roddenberry)
Scotty’s skills include: Ability to fix the warp drive with a pencil, chewing gum and a paperclip within seconds of certain catastrophe.
For the Twihards: Jacob, Edward and Bella; a vampire and a werewolf with a laundry list of special powers which could be used for the good of humanity if they weren’t so busy saving a dithering teen.
Jacob Black’s skills include: Superior physical build and high body temperature (A fortunate combination because he appears to have limited clothing options.)
Ability to turn into a big ass wolf and all other superhuman abilities you can think of.
Edward Cullen’ skills include: Graduating from various high schools
Appearing carelessly yet impeccable in dress and coifs
Pretty, pretty sparkling and all superhuman abilities you can think of.
Bella Swan’s skills include: Spreading her smell around to confuse other vampires.
So skill set comparison, the Twilight boys have a lot going on but the Star Trek boys really know how to use what they’ve got. Point to Star Trek.
Comparison Points total to date: 14 to 9 in Star Trek’s favor. Twilight better start doing some spectacular sparkling.

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