Saturday, November 17, 2012

Missiles, and 300 barrels of chemical waste.

“Come on! It isn't rocket science, it's just quantum physics!” -The Doctor (Matt Smith)
I used to have a patient on hospice who was a rocket scientist. He built short range missiles for bombing and sold them to the US government.
“Aim towards enemy." - instructions on U.S. rocket launcher” ― U.S. instruction manual
Rather than get rid of the chemical waste as it accumulated he stored it in 300 barrels in his basement, his garage, his yard and hid the rest in the mountains behind his house.
“The only way to dispose of a missile is to use it.” Rush Limbaugh
Since I am the social worker, of course I can solve this, right!?! I call everyone I can think of and not only will they not help, they are happy to inform me that if it is not cleaned up by the time they stop by, there will be a hefty fine. So I decide to take my “If you wait for a little bit most problems solve themselves” stance.
“The two things that matter the most to me: emotional resonance and rocket launchers.”― Joss Whedon
Sure enough, one day I drive up and there are cops and firefighters all over the place. I don’t know how they got reported but the county cleaned it up and only charged them a few thousand dollars so he lucked out.
I think I’m going to write my own job description from now on. No contact with chemical waste, deadly airborne substances, bed bugs, or any bodily secretions.
“The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be "What the hell you mean we're out of missiles.” - Glen Beck

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