March Matron

I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, "Why stop at one?" I don't like being limited in that way. Therefore, I'm considering a platoon of monkeys. So that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to these monkeys throwing their feces around.

Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the **** you were gonna do anyway.

I wasn’t worried about whether I was going to go insane, I was very well aware I was insane.


I'm not used to feeling like I belong where I am.

I am very, very, very high maintenance.

Tofu is the root of all evil, and there's only one thing that can change a man's mind, and that's a modified Uzi with an extra-long clip.

I know very little about acting. I'm just an incredibly gifted faker.
What do you say, though -- if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plan.