March Matron

For work I was “Volun-told” (Told I would be volunteering) for the emergency response team. This means I have to take a ridiculous test on line (three times because it won’t submit.) Where I learned such valuable things as Tuberculosis and other air-borne pathogens can be contagious. 

I did not, however, learn why I am on this response team where I’ll be dealing with Tuberculosis and other air-borne pathogens. In case the Ebola virus is genetically combined with the common cold and released, not in New York but in Phoenix? In case of TB-infected Zombie attack?

So, we have to carve out half of the day to do a particulate respirator and surgical mask fit test. 

First, I hate things on my face. I don’t wear bangs because they brush over my face. (Seriously.) 

Second, the test takes about five minutes but the minimum wage geniuses at the contracted, mask-fit location, have difficulty structuring the day and sitting in the waiting room, watching Kathy Gifford, for several hours appears to be mandatory. 

Third, they put a bag over your head and squirt in a foul smelling gaseous mixture while you jog in place. 

Fourth, if there is a TB-infected zombie attack I’m staying home!