Friday, December 13, 2019

A Scumbag Christmas

Thief stole DCs Except for my band's one. Nextdoor App Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
Posted on @BestOfNextdoor, the Twitter account with more followers than the actual Nextdoor.com Twitter account. 
Over the past year, there have been a number of car break-ins in my neighborhood by local, wandering scumbags.
Cops called on home owners bringing items into home. Nextdoor App Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
Advice posted on @BestOfNextdoor
The good neighbors on Nextdoor.com have posted various "identify the scumbag videos" taken from home security cameras.
Nextdoor is great for reassurance not talking to neighbors is the right call Nextdoor App Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
The many benefits of Nextdoor.com
If you are unfamiliar, Nextdoor.com states it is "a social networking platform for local communities and neighborhoods."
Nextdoor App gives middle aged white women a place to freak out. Nextdoor App Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
Accurate assessment of the Nextdoor.com, as posted on @BestOfNextdoor
Or, more accurately, Twitter for those upset at no longer being a Jr. High Hall Monitor or Home Owner Association board member . . .
Found a german shepherd puppy . . . that's not a german shepherd. Nextdoor App Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
Posts involving lost pets dominate Nextdoor.com in my area
with occasional positive outcomes.
Actual video of scumbag in my neighborhood.
Now the scumbags roaming my neighborhood have started entering homes through the ubiquitous, tract home, sliding back door and videos of them doing so are causing justifiable outrage and concern.
Nextdoor App Christmas Garage Letter Prank and outrage. marchmatron.com
Nextdoor.com post from my neighborhood 
While checking for a scumbag update, I ran across a photo of a neighborhood garage. What followed was a lengthy interaction of shock, consternation, and discussion regarding the correct authorities to contact.
Nextdoor App Christmas Decorations repaired. marchmatron.com
Nextdoor.com follow up post from my neighborhood 
Today, the homeowner apologetically posted that children in the neighborhood had altered the greeting without her knowledge. (Presumably not the same wandering scumbags responsible for break-ins but an accurate identification was not possible.)  
The neighbor explained that she typically opens the garage to park her car prior to making actual visual contact with the door and therefore she was unaware of the offending message.
Nextdoor App Christmas Decorations as seen at night. marchmatron.com
Photographic evidence of Christmas cheer from my neighborhood.
Messages of goodwill and Christmas spirit followed, including several photos of the completed neighborhood home decorations.
Nextdoor App Christmas Decorations, continued self congratulatory greetings. marchmatron.com
Continued holiday happiness from my neighborhood
That is, until . . .
Nextdoor App Christmas Music volume debate. marchmatron.com
Contention creeping back into my neighborhood

I am waiting for the outrage over "Happy Holidays", the battle cry of the War on Christmas.
Poll No one wants to particpate in a Christmas Cookie Swap Nextdoor App Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
Evidently, there will be no Christmas cookie swap
in this neighborhood.
If there are cookie swaps in my area,
I am unaware of them . . . which, in all fairness, is not unexpected. 
With Christmas gifts and an influx of visiting cars . . .

Bodyguard for hire Black Friday Shopping.  Hilarious Post marchmatron.com
I'm not sure if Justin in Buford is available this year.
However, an alternative may be found with a search on Nextdoor.com.  
I am anticipating a dramatic increase in scumbag activity.
Please turn off Christmas Light for my cats. Post marchmatron.com
Consideration of cat comfort during the Christmas season as posted on @BestOfNextdoor
Happy Mr. Creamy Shits Day Ho

Merry Christmas 
and 
Happy New Year

New Years resolution. Stop acting like a child. Post marchmatron.com
Nextdoor.com at it's best. 

Monday, December 31, 2018

Immaculate Collusion and Proportional Smiting

Trump would have built the universe faster than god
"The new Pope is a humble man, very much like me, which probably explains why I like him so much!" - Donald Trump
he Trumps meet The Pope. The Pope is not happy.
"A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not of building bridges, is not Christian." - Pope Francis
"If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS’s ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President because this would not have happened . . . 
For a religious leader to question a person’s faith is disgraceful. I am proud to be a Christian and as President I will not allow Christianity to be consistently attacked and weakened." - Donald Trump
Pope Francis Looking Grumpy
"I invite you not to build walls but bridges, to conquer evil with good, offence with forgiveness, to live in peace with everyone." - Pope Francis
thank you Lord Jesus for Trump
re: porn star Stormy Daniels 
"We kind of gave [Donald], all right, you get a mulligan. You get a do-over here." - Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council (an evangelical activist group)
Thank God for Trump and Abbott
"It's time to pray for the president (Donald Trump) . . . What's happening right now in America, is witchcraft's trying to take this country over." - Pastor John Kilpatrick, Alabama 
Jesus Died for You Trump Lives for You
"[T]he gays, they do everything they can to get their politicians into office, and they have every right to do that. And I’m just saying, we, as Christians, we have every right to have the Christian voice in office." - Rev. Franklin Graham (son of Billy) 
Trump and Jesus in the Oval Office - Terrible Art
"It may be immoral for [evangelicals] not to support him . . . They need to look at what the president did for the poor . . . I can’t imagine him doing anything that’s not good for the country." - Jerry Falwell Jr.
"A Trump administration, our Christian heritage will be cherished, protected, defended, like you've never seen before. Believe me. I believe it. And you believe it. And you know it. You know it. " - Donald Trump 
"Why do I have to repent or ask for forgiveness, if I am not making mistakes?" - Donald Trump

My hope for 2019; 
May the collusion be found maculate 

and 

the smiting proportional 
Happy New Year! 
#Trump #NewYear #God #Christian



Sunday, December 23, 2018