Thursday, July 27, 2017

The Tweet of God

Answering the profound questions of:
Why? and What? and Really, that's the plan?

The best of Tweets from God: 



God‏ @TheTweetOfGod
Retweeting this counts as going to church. 


God‏ @TheTweetOfGod
Everybody retweet this. I'll explain later.



HuffPost‏Verified account @HuffPost
If God opens the door, Sarah Palin says she'll run again.
God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
It's shut.


God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
Rioting is not the answer, but repeatedly killing unarmed black people is reeeeeeallly not the answer.


God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
It's Bernie.


God‏ @TheTweetOfGod
I feel like "Thou shalt not kill" was fairly unambiguous. Is it the "thou" that's throwing you off? 'Cause that just means "you", old-style.



God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
The Kardashians have signed a 4-year deal to stay with E! for $100 million and I’m starting to think I don’t exist.



God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
Many of you are stupid. I know I tweet this a lot, but in My defense, many of you are stupid a lot.


God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
And that someone is Satan.


God‏ @TheTweetOfGod 
Don't take this the wrong way, but I regret you as a species.




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