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Friday, January 29, 2016

A Nice Intellectual Song

"A nice Intellectual Song - for those two or three of you who understand such things."

Monty Python was, to my teenage reckoning, the pinnacle of humor. 

Unlike other teenage reckoning of pinnacle achievements . . .

The Pythons remain a favorite. 

Philosopher Song 
Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl 

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed

In a misguided attempt to present an interesting post, I looked up the philosophers who were paid tribute . . . 

I've come to a few conclusions:

First - Philosophers are overly represented as being the founder or father of some esoteric form of thought 

Second - I know almost nothing about philosophy

Third - While there are some great quotes, I'm not particularly interested in knowing more about philosophy because it hurts by brain. 

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. 

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. 

Socrates (460 - 399 BC) 
Greek philosopher and founders of Western philosophy.

Only the dead have seen the end of war. 

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. 

He was a wise man who invented God. 

Plato (420's – 347 BC) 
Greek philosopher and founder of the first institution of higher learning in the Western world.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. 

There is no great genius without some touch of madness. 

Nothing is what rocks dreams about. 

Aristotle (384—322 BC) 
Greek philosopher, father of logic and formalized system for reasoning.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

RenĂ© Descartes (1596 - 1650) 
French philosopher, mathematician, scientist and the father of modern western philosophy

Give an inch, he'll take an ell.

Knowledge is power. 

Hell is truth seen too late.

Thomas Hobbes (1588 - 1679) 
English philosopher, known for political philosophy.

Education is the art of making man ethical.

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770 - 1831) 
German philosopher who was influential within the continental tradition of philosophy and the analytic tradition. 

Nothing is more surprising than the easiness with which the many are governed by the few. 

The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but even at this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one.

David Hume (1711 - 1776) 
Scottish philosopher, historian and economist who developed radical philosophical empiricism. 

Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another. 

Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804) 
German philosopher considered the father of modern philosophy.

There is no self-knowledge except historical self-knowledge. No one knows what he is if he doesn’t know what his contemporaries are.

You live only insofar as you live according to your own ideas. 

Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel (1772 - 1829) 
German poet, literary critic, philosopher and philologist.

To live alone is the fate of all great souls.

Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) 
German philosopher who characterizes the phenomenal world and all human action

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives. 

That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of the time.

John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873) 
English philosopher, political economist, feminist, and civil servant

God is dead, God remains dead, and we have killed him. 

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. 

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) 
German philosopher, cultural critic and poet who influenced modern intellectual history.

Longing is the agony of the nearness of the distant. 

To be independent of public opinion is the first formal condition of achieving anything great. 

Martin Heidegger (1889 - 1976) 
German philosopher and a seminal thinker who influenced Analytic philosophy.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.

Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951) 
Austrian-British philosopher who focused on philosophical mathematics and language.

A Fish Called Wanda
(A very funny movie, not a Monty Python creation but starring some Pythons)

Otto West: Don't call me stupid. 

Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. 

I've worn dresses with higher IQs. 
But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape? 

Otto West: Apes don't read philosophy.

Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. 

They just don't understand it.
Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK?

Aristotle was not Belgian. 

The central message of Buddhism is not 
"Every man for himself." 

And the London Underground is not a political movement. 
Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

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