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Monday, June 29, 2015

The Smell of Freedom

How can you identify an American?

International students at a Japanese University offer some tips.  

“I don't care what you Yanks say, cheese should not whiz.” ― Janette Rallison

"I’ll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal." - Martha Harrison
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks." - Marilyn Wann

I see a theme here. Should I journey abroad, I am confident my appearance would scream, "I'm American!". I might not even need a passport.  

Just in case, if there were any doubts, I could bring some additional items to subtlety identify me as an American. 

"There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home." - Stephen Colbert

"Ninety-eight per cent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other two percent have to generate their own sex and violence." - Franklin P. Jones

"The Japanese tend to communicate via nuance and euphemism, often leaving important things unsaid; whereas Americans tend to think they’re being subtle when they refrain from grabbing the listener by the shirt." - Dave Barry

"Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That’s the new American dream." - Natasha Leggero 

“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages” - Dave Barry 

"There is nothing wrong with America that faith, love of freedom, intelligence and energy of her citizens cannot cure" - Dwight D Eisenhower 

“The British and Americans are two people separated by a common language.” ― George Bernard Shaw

"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic." - Dan Rather

“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.” ― Jarod Kintz

“It seems as if Americans like to be the center of attention even after they're dead.” ― Hidekaz Himaruya

The most insightful identification factor? 

Fry sauce, exhaust fumes and disillusionment.

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