Monday, October 13, 2014

The Other Cat

Yesterday my Mac stopped working. I have since learned the term "screen of death" and ironically it is most often tied to a PC. Leave it to me to fatally infect a Mac.

While still in denial, I googled and as instructed tried various key acrobatics with no success. I contacted Mac support. Mac support required a repeat of the key acrobatics and after an abysmal failure, I was told to go to the Apple Store. 

I do not want to go to the Apple Store. Just walking into the Apple Store involves a substantial cash payment. It is like the mafia of electronics. "You think you can come in here without showing the proper respect? Without paying tribute?" 

In addition, the Apple store is in the mall and I enjoy going to the mall about as much as I enjoy a tractor pull or the theory of a tractor pull, having never been to an actual tractor pull.

Without recourse, I head to the suburban Mecca.

At this point, I need to divert briefly from my oh so very interesting story. In a recent bid to move into the computer age, I ditched my day-timer. Nothing screams chic like a small zippered folio.
I bought a black wallet with tiny white seagulls and my kid commented, "That is actually kind of cute." A fashion coup!

A second brief divergence. Jean and Cat are friends from my prior hospice job. As happens, the age of our group occasionally leads to calling each other by one of the other names. Jean occasionally calls me the Other Cat. Fair enough and I would actually respond to Hey You.

At lunch, Jean mistook the gulls for bats and bats are much more my type of areal animal.  She relentlessly sent me links to bat related items until I was forced to quit being productive and search for stuff I didn't need.

On Etsy I found vintage-ish cigarette cases. Since all three of us carry a stack of business cards, I'm thinking Halloween, Bats, Cats and business card holder. Great little gifts, right?

I decide to put my wallet stuff into my little case. A trade in of gulls for awesome Art Nouveau Girl Riding on Bat Graphics, which my daughter did not find nearly as attractive. 

Note how I did NOT need to go to the mall and maneuver around with the milling crowds to participate in consumerism.

Returning to the oh so very interesting Apple store story, the kid and I stop at the bank and get cash.  The bat case won't clip closed and so the kid swaps out some bills, case clips and we move on.

As luck would have it, a substantial portion of the mall parking lot has been blocked for no observable reason. Unappreciative of stupid parking decisions, I'm fairly exasperated by the time I get to my appointment with Apple genius Chad.

Chad attempts finger acrobatics and then whisks my Mac into the back. He returns in an awe-shucks kind of way and tells me they have to send my laptop in to be repaired. But not to worry because they have a tier level of repair costs. $699 plus a $100 labor fee and my Mac will be a good as new. 

Chad, my Apple genius friend, are you aware of the cost of a brand-spanking new Mac? Why then, Apple genius Chad, would I pay for repairs on a Mac that is less than a year old, for a fee approximate to the cost of a new Mac? He returns to the tier level structure but is ultimately defeated by logic and 3rd grade math.

Fortunately for me, I had the presence of mind to purchase my Mac on Amazon and with it a 3 year warranty for a paltry $150. Note again how I did NOT need to go to the mall to participate in consumerism.

The insurance company will require sending my Mac to a repair location of their choosing (Bolivia?) in packaging they will deliver to my home in 3 to 5 business days and will then return it to me in up to ten business days after receiving the package and making repairs. A month without my beloved laptop? 

No way to determine if the thousands of humorous images I have saved, comprising all my future hopes for blog posts, home improvement, wardrobe acquisition and happiness in general will be retained? The overwhelming dread!

While digesting this, I decide to buy a notebook since paper and pen look like they way I'll be organizing stuff for the next month. I whip out my little case and my driver's license and 
credit cards are gone. 

The cash is there, the other stuff is there, but everything that will be a pain in the ass to replace is gone. 

The only time it was opened was at the ATM and the car, while containing an amazing amount of flotsam and jetsam for recently being vacuumed, had no plastic bits encoding my life. 

So now I am without any of my forms of security and wellbeing from this century. I confiscated the kids iPad to blog and I've got to tell you, blogging on an iPad is more of a pain in the ass than replacing all the plastic I own. I am currently NOT a member of The Cult of Mac. 

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