Sunday, July 6, 2014

Snark on the 4th?

Street sign Land of the WEEEE home of the YAYYYY. Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
It rained the night of the third, and by rain, I mean rain in the fine tradition of Arizona weather.
Please Stand by. Emergency broadcast system The Dead Are Rising. Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
Arizona rain appears to start with the activation of the Emergency Broadcast System. Having multiple in-home communication options, this leads to a continual round robin of alerts so, while we are well informed that an apocalyptic storm is on the way, options for countering devastation are lacking.
Dramatic Dust Storm rolling into Phoenix Arizona
Accompanying the wall of dirt is the obligatory torrential rain, sheet lightning, and gusts, while below hurricane intensity, are strong enough to lift most shallowly rooted foliage . . .
Tuscon tree uprooted and hits apartment building after storm
which, in Arizona, is the foliage of preference. 
Kids dressed as Capt America playing with fireworks
However, a pre-fourth of July soaking is obviously advantageous . . .
Idiot plus firework. Straddling a lit firework goes as well as expected
particularly to those of us that did not want excessive combustion on the evening when intoxicated individuals are let loose with cardboard tubes of explosives. 
Independence Day Yet never free from stupidity. Idiot pretends to launch a firework from his butt.Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
Speaking of tubes and sparks, I must be missing some aspect of cultural wit because evidently pretending fireworks issue from your ass is hilarious.
America, home of entitlement. Frat brothers, US flag shorts, beer and boat shoes without socks. Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
Lest you think I am snarky or flippant about the birth of the country founded on democracy and freedom I'm borrowing a quote . . .
Bald Eagle perches on a flagpole flying the American flag. Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. 
You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism." - Erma Bombeck
Texting the fireworks display. Boom POP POP ba-boom. Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com


Yes, ma'am! 
Open carry. Man and wife with large firearms wrapped in red white and blue armerican flags.Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
I hope you had a happy fourth, and if you were on firework-related injury prevention duty, I hope it went well.
Photo of a cute toddler holding up an American Flag. Snark on the 4th and other stories about Merica. marchmatron.com
“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.” - Jarod Kintz
#Merica #IndependenceDay #Fireworks #America
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Other stories of  'Merica:
www.marchmatron.com/2015/06/the-smell-of-freedom.html
The Smell of Freedom

www.marchmatron.com/2017/07/mericans-and-sharp-edges.html
'Mericans and Sharp Edges

www.marchmatron.com/2017/09/cry-for-help.html
Cry For Help



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