Sunday, July 6, 2014

Snark? On the 4th? What's wrong with you!?!

It rained the night of the third and by rained I mean rained in the fine tradition of Arizona weather. 

Arizona rain, in my limited experience, appears to start with the activation of the Emergency Broadcast System. Having 4 different cells phone in the house led to a continual round robin of alerts so we were well informed that a dust storm was on the way. 

Accompanying the apocalyptic wall of dirt was the obligatory lightening storm and brief but thorough soaking of everything with droplets of mud. 
The transfer of dirt happens but there were a few factors that make it unusual.

First, I had not washed my car recently.  

Second, what foliage I do have, will stay viable for another few weeks while I avoided becoming proficient at working my drip sprinkler system.

Third, soaking the outside was advantageous to those of us that did not want excessive combustion on the evening when intoxicated individuals with exceptionally poor impulse control are let loose with cardboard tubes of explosives.

Speaking of tubes and sparks, I must be missing some aspect of cultural wit because evidently pretending fireworks issue from your ass is hilarious.   

In attempting to convey my intense dislike of 115 degree weather, rhetoric, sunburn, camp chairs, bugs, noise beyond 90 decibels, America’s current political system and a crush of individuals in various states of undress invading my personal space, I sounded a wee bit snarky. 

How unusual for me. 

Lest you think I am un-American, I did participate in the 4th of July celebration.

I spent the evenings assuring the puppies that the horrible noises of thunder and then fireworks were not necessarily an indication of Armageddon . . . 

but we shouldn't rule it out completely.  

Then, in the American tradition that I have perfected, I let them climb in bed and gave them bits of junk food until the stressful events ended.

I hope you had a happy fourth and if you were on firework related injury prevention duty, I hope it went well.  

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