Saturday, November 9, 2013

Bits and Pieces from the Past Few Days



 
First, is it really that long since I posted!?! Holy Cow (or an expression of profanity involving a religion other than Hinduism. Bloody Hell springs to mind.) So I apologize profusely and this has been an absolutely horrible week. (More to follow, if you are interested in the sordid details.)

 

Second, I am realizing that bouncing back from surgery is disproportionally harder now than when I was twenty years younger. Seriously, is there going to be a time that I can go up one flight of stairs without sucking air? My lungs are just not cooperative. How about lifting a 50 pound bag of dog food? The last time I tried I had to get one of the grocery store bag boys to help me. Compounding the problem is my new restless leg requirement.  Evidentially, at 3:00 am, it is mandatory that I pace around the house holding my laptop in my left hand as I type with my right. If forties are the new thirties, then my ability to function did not get that memo. (If I ever need home O2 again, this is genius!)

 


Third, my love of the air transportation system remains, well let’s just say, it is a little lacking.  I don’t think I’ll be signing up for any TSA fan clubs soon. So yesterday I had to fly back to Utah for . . .  you know what is coming, say it with me . . . COURT! (All I can say is our attorney count, in 2 ½ years, is up to 9.  Yes indeed, 9 attorneys and after this round of wrangling, it looks like at l least one more year.  And who says our justice system doesn’t work?)  

 
 
 
But back to the airport. Evidently at the Phoenix airport there was a decision in TSA land that opening one screening lane and staffing it with enough TSA agents to manage the entire airport is the way to go. And, naturally the agent with the most interpersonal limitations is the one to meander up and down the line loudly proclaiming edicts. “People! People! Listen up! You must . . . (choose from a myriad of demands; take your shoes off, put all electronics in a separate bin, remove your pants, do a hand stand, recite the three laws of thermodynamics, etc.) or you will have to get a pat down and I’m sure you don’t want a pat down!”  It would appear that the government has hired some workers with the skill set of a bad parent.  “Clean your room or you will get a pat down!”
 


And one more comment about TSA which I stole from Bill Maher and then paraphrased.  In America we have some things that we do really well and one of those things is security.  If you don’t believe that, look at casinos. Ever try to steal from a casino? Any chance the casinos would ever hire TSA to secure their assets? Need I say more?  

                 


Fourth, I guess I’ve lived in Arizona long enough that when I need to go back to Utah, I think the temperatures are just silly. I mean it was like 50 degrees and I even bought a hoodie for the trip. I’m rapidly declining into old woman realm and living in Arizona is probably one of the few places I’ll have a lot of old woman company. BUT as I’ve explained (or whined about) taking care of the geriatric population is not on Arizona’s agenda and honestly death by femur fracture after occupying space on the bathroom floor for three days is really not my cup of tea.

 



Fifth, I got to meet my coworkers!  Big deal, you say. It’s called going to work and you stop by an office door, say hi, check in about the weekend (depending on the parameters of the relationship), shell out a few bucks for the office birthday party and meander back to the cubical farm. No cubical farm for me!  My co-workers are spread over 8 states so we have an annual get together. (I think there is something wonderful about people who go into a helping profession knowing they have just killed their chance of making big money. My kind of people.) Monday I did a ton of running around for work so by the time we met for dinner I was wiped out. (See my griping above!) I had to call in sick Tuesday but made it on Wednesday.  My point? I guess I look sick enough, several people commented on my appearance. Very, sweet to be concerned but looking like death isn’t something I was actively pursuing. AND I have another round of bubonic plague like symptoms. That is fun for everyone! “Hello. May I come into your home? I bring the Black Death.”
 
 

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