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Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Big Dogs

Big dogs are a pain.  They are expensive and loud and, at any given time, they are surrounded by a cloud of dust.  Also, in my experience, the bigger they are, the more they want to sit on your lap or lean up against your legs. 


The little dog is content just to be in the same vicinity.  Really, he is happy as long as he is in eye contact.


Oscar has started wanting to climb up on the bed.  The Chihuahua gets to be on the bed so why not him? The Chihuahua has a complete melt down and does his best to convince Oscar to back off.  Since he is smaller than Oscar’s head, Oscar just holds still and lets the little dog go crazy.  Then he will inch up again.


Eventually he will be on the foot of the bed, the Chihuahua in a ball under Oscar’s jaw. The problem is, he doesn’t stay there.  He creeps up and then, bam, he plops an enormous paw on my face, just so I remember that he is there. Fortunately for him, he has managed to miss my eye but I’m sporting a nice cheek bruise for a while.


So why keep the overgrown puppies? Because they are hilarious. At least I think they are. And frankly anything that makes me laugh, I’m keeping. Not to mention they are unconditionally accepting and don’t care if there are dishes in the sink or if I’m running late.


The other reason, and it is kind of silly, but my house has an abundance of noises.  The downstairs is all tile and any sound echoes up the stairs. But, unlike the dumb white girl in the slasher movie who walks down to investigate, “Hello? Anyone here?” I stay in bed and don’t freak out unless I get a dog alarm. 


In addition to screening noises as threat and no threat, they sound pretty intimidating and I imagine that would give a house-breaking degenerate pause. However, if the degenerate actually ran into the dogs. Oscar would immediately sit on his feet and lean in for a pat.  Odin would do something similar, leaving the Chihuahua as the lone protector of the house and its contents.


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