Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Headphone Legislation

Headphone legislation at my house is based on the following:

1-Headphone use is necessary to ensure domestic tranquility.
a-If I have to hear Justin Beiber anymore I will not be responsible for my actions. 
b-My children are in a constant state of whine if I even suggest I will listen to NPR or an audio book.

2-The retention of headphones by said occupants of the house, has been subpar to the point of being abysmal and implementation of alternative headphone management is required.
a-I will retain physical custody of all headphones until a written authorization is completed and approved outlining the borrowers’ responsibility in returning headphones
b- Failure to comply will result in termination of headphone acquisition.

3- Special headphone circumstances will be in place
a-All use of headphones will be preceded by an announcement to others in the house that headphones will be in place and communication options will be minimal.
b-The family who plays together (and by that I mean the family who can organize individual entertainment while staying in the same physical vicinity) is the family who stays together.

My daughter’s response? “Mom! That isn’t funny.” I have every intention of releasing headphones to her when she asks. Primarily, like I said, it is that or listen to Wonder-Boy Beiber. So cheap, crappy headphone stocked in headphone area. Nice, functional headphone and backup hidden in location she does not need to be aware of.

Anyone else relate? Secret stash of luxurious pens and high dollar journals, gourmet cookies, lightly-perfumed French lotion, all with a public access alternative used as distraction? "I think there is a pen (sold in a box of 150 for five dollars) in the kitchen drawer."  "No I don't have other ones. You will have to look again."

I understand. You do what it takes to survive!

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