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Saturday, June 1, 2013

Technotarded


 
In addition to my awesome wireless customer service (where the policy appears to be; customer service? We don’t have any.) I’m also having internet connection issues.

 


(How many more of my electronics can become borderline cognizant with feelings of hostility or betrayal?)


 
The connection flickers on and off until it finally implodes, warning light flashing, and no more connection will be had until I can locate a customer service rep to flip the re-boot switch.

 

But, before we can have the switch flipped, we need to go through the customer service protocol.  “Ma’am could you turn the unit off and then on again?” “Um, no. I have the on off protocol pretty well covered by now.” “Ma’am I need you to try another phone jack for a connect.” “Um, no. I also have the alternative phone jack plug in trial covered.”


 
“Well ma’am your coverage appears to be disconnected.” “You think?” “Well ma’am, we would strongly recommend you do not reset your modem which leads to a disconnect.” “That is good advice and completely irrelevant to the situation.  I would very much appreciate it if you could just flip the switch.”

 


“We don’t flip the switch until two day out from the call.” “Hmmm, is it a big giant switch that is hard to flip? Is the switch stored in an unmarked box in the back of the warehouse? If I came down, could I flip the switch?”

 


“Ma’am our policy is two days after contact.” “Well what if we look at it this way. I’ve called you every day for a week and a half so two days ago you had a call and therefore the mandatory wait has been met. In the name of competency, will be please flip the switch?”

 

There have been a few occasions when the implode happens after hours.  Then I am provided with two options, one is to call back during regular business hours or two, I can access the internet at any time for assistance in trouble shooting my inability to access the internet.  Perfect!

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