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Friday, September 14, 2012

Neuticles

This is what I’ve been waiting for! Now I can de-masculinize my babies without fear of damaging their frail, male egos. Here are a few blurbs from their web site:
Neuticles are testicular implants for pets, available for canines, felines, bulls or any pet which is neutered.
I think it would be worth buying a set of Bull sized Neuticles just to carry around in my purse. Then if anyone challenged my authority, I could pull them out and say, “Match this, sucker!”
We have Neuticled over 500,000 pets worldwide over the past 17 years. We feel the removal of a God given body part, leaving a male pet looking unwhole, is not only unethical but unnatural.
Hmm, I wonder about that whole convenient with Abraham, circumcision thing.
Neuticles are available in Originals (ridge firmness), Natural (natural firmness) and Ultra Plus with Epididymis. Neuticle Originals are $94/ pr and up. Neuticals Ultra Plus are $329/ pr and up. And I say $329 is a small price to pay for an Epididymis! Neuticles are perfectly safe for pet but cannot legally be used in people.
Well Damn! There goes my underground, testicle enlargement idea.

2 comments :

Anonymous said...

Meaningless, trite webpage.

marchmatron said...

You are very perceptive and what would you find meaningful?