Tuesday, August 14, 2012

A Christmas Story

Ralphie as Adult: Oh, no! "You'll shoot your eye out!"? My mother must have gotten to Miss Shields! There could be no other explanation!
Miss Shields, Mother: [Miss Shields is dressed as the Wicked Witch and Ralphie's mother as a jester, both chanting] "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out! Ralphie as Adult: Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, after BB gun shot bounces off target and hits his face] Oh my god, I shot my eye out!
Mr. Parker: Name the great characters in American literature. Mother: Victor? The Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
Ralphie as Adult: My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.
Ralphie as Adult: My old man was one of the most feared furnace fighters in Northern Indiana.

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