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Monday, July 30, 2012

A Christmas Story

Ralphie: My father's spare tires were only tires on the academic sense. They were round,and had once been made of rubber.
Ralphie: Round One was over. heh heh. Parents one, kids, zip. I can feel the Christmas noose beginning to tighten. Maybe, what happened next, was inevitable. Mother: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas? Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out! Ralphie: I want a Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle. Oooooooh! Mother: No, you'll shoot your eye out. Ralphie: Oh no! It was a classic, mother BB-gun block. "You'll shoot your eye out!" That deadly phrase honored many times by hundreds of mothers was not surmountable by any means known to Kid-dom, but such as my mania, my desire for a Red Ryder carbine, that I immediately began to rebuild the dike.
Ralphie: Getting ready to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep-sea diving.
Ralphie: Randy lay there like a slug! It was his only defense!

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