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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines

My Valentine Story:
My kid, at 9 at night, says, “Mom, for school I need frosting and vanilla wafers.”  I say to myself: But we were just out. Did you not see us in the car? Do you not see that I have changed into my PJ’s?  “And why would you need such things my darling child?” “We are making cells at school and the teacher doesn’t have any and we need the frosting to be the cytoplasm and hold the cells together.” Of course she does because how else would you hold cells together?  Jello? Don’t be ridiculous.

So off to Walmart we go.  Now you are saying to yourself, well that isn’t so bad and you are confident I did not change out of my PJs so I would fit in with the other Walmart shoppers.  Sadly, I can’t do it.  Even to Walmart I insist on wearing pants.

Walmart is chaos.  Hundreds of men are there roaming around looking for Valentines crap to spend money on. (Why is it that men think women are, at heart, 12 years old and want a huge stuffed animal with big googly eyes?)

After what seems like hours later, we successfully trekked back to the edges of the parking lot to our car and returned home.  Then, I find that my housekeeper has bought me a little Valentines box of candy.  Being the only Valentine I will get, I am very touched.